I think the injection medicine is "kicking" in just about now. Yesterday I started to feel my ovaries again, and today I really feel my ovaries. They feel 'twingey', and are starting to feel 'fuller'. I can only assume I have lots of eggs growing--yippee. I am also feeling bloated again. Just all over full.
The nurse yesterday said my blood levels are normal (E2<500) and we haven't had to adjust my medication yet. They watch closely for the overstimulation, and I am now going every other day to get bloodwork. Back again tomorrow morning, also w ultrasound. Think they start checking follicle growth and lining growth.
So far, on schedule and responding as I am supposed to.
Something I am thankful for is that over the past week I have felt more at peace again about my decision for this journey. It all comes back to having done so much in my life already, that this just feels right for me. With or without a partner. I also tend to think that many like minded women, w/ similar backgrounds end up in this situation....successful, independent, maybe had poor relationships w/ one parent or the other, not too sure about relationships, difficulty w/ trust in general. So we just say, to heck w/ it....we'll do this ourselves too. I can really relate to some SMC blogs about this.
For me, I am not close to my Dad. He was emotionally absent growing up and I was so attached to my mom. She was an amazing mother, basically was both parents since my Dad was there, but wasn't there...you know? My counselor always says you learn about relationships first by watching your parents, and I think my biggest lesson was "if you want it done right (or at all) you need to do it yourself." And I think I have relationship difficulties today stemming from it. I read a book awhile ago about how a father's emotional absence can impact girls. I read through the list of 'what to look out for' and it described me and my behavior better than I could have. Couldn't believe it. But then I ask the question, so what? What do I do about it? The past is just that. However, it impacts me now because I am 36 years old (37 next month), still single. I am sure my past has lead up to this, but my current behavior isn't correcting for it. I am not "out there", really trying to work it. Very good topic for a new counselor, I'd say?
At least tonight I am happy I am on this path...I have the freedom to choose this and make it happen.
Best of luck with your first IVF! As you *may* know I agonize over the whole relationship thing a lot, and I for sure have not made my peace with it or figured anything out yet. But it does bother me that as women we're always taught that we're just not enough unless we're attached to some man, that somehow it's our fault we're single and not the fault of the fact that every available guy we've met in the last twenty years has been a douchebag. I just hear women blame themselves way too much, and it makes me sad. But for sure making sure we don't miss out on the chance to have a family is a step in the right direction
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