Well....I’m writing this post in my hospital bed at 5:43am. Between when next set of medicine starts to kick in so hopefully this will all make
Ive suspected I had a hernia in my upper stomach for awhile but it didn’t cause me too much issue so never really got it tested. However when I was having all that trouble back in March with fertility meds and had ct scan it was officially diagnosed then.
Well Wednesday of this week I noticed my upper stomach area at the hernia area was really starting to hurt. It felt like maybe I hit it on something and movement and walking was causing it to be pretty sore. I was having to hold on to it after getting up and it took my breath away a few times. Then I noticed the skin on top of it was turning pinkish in color and knew that wasn’t normal.
I called that afternoon for an appointment with my GI doc for soonest and they made appt Thursday with the Really sweet older lady physician assistant I saw last time.
Here’s where I prioritized construction house over that appointment because we were making final push to get it totally finished. I had been spending a few hours a day there everyday since last Friday. I called and rescheduled the appointment to Friday this week-2 days ago.
I went to appointment on Friday and she had me tell her what I was feeling and to get up on table to look. Sweet lady she remembered to ask me how the fertility treatment turned out.
Anyway when she stated poking around who-eee it hurt. She was noticing something a bit odd/ hard-like so she said she wanted to bring doctor in to take a look. This Dr I’ve seen in past so it was nice to see a familiar face, he also manipulated the area and said yes, it needs to get checked out. I said ok where to make an appointment and he said no, I need to go to the emergency room.
The blood drained from my head at that moment and I got a good dose of fear hormone coursing through my body. I couldn’t remember what word he used about what was happening but he said he was going to call the ER tell them I’m on my way.
After he left I asked the PA was that really necessary? My mind kept going to cost and was this really an emergency? The PA said the dr sometimes is quick to send to ER so maybe call an urgent care or something. She said at least walk over to ER and see what wait was going to be first.
Why I questioned him I’m not really sure.
I walked over to the adjacent ER from his medical building and can I just tell you how nuts/busy/full/ and crazy it seemed in there. Omg. I went to check in lady and asked about the wait and she basically gave me a look like...look around. She was nice about it but said they were full in back and 31 people to process through already. I thanked her and said I’d look elsewhere.
Went back to my car and called an affiliate urgent care/emergency center tied to this hospital system and after I explained situation she said I could come there but if they discovered I needed surgery they would have to transport me by ambulance to hospital.
Well that didn’t make sense either so I decided to go the the affiliate hospital directly much closer to my area of town and home such that if I did need admitted I’d be there.
I am so proud of myself for thinking ahead. I decided to stop by my house in the way and take a bag with me for chargers, changed to comfy clothes, toothbrush, mouthwash, my daily medicine.
Off I went to the new ER.
I’m going to have to finish this in a bit with part 2. I can tell I need to take a break here.
Sunday, June 16, 2019
Thursday, June 6, 2019
And here we are
It’s summer!!!!!!! Kids are out of school and I kind of wish I was home for the summer too. It’s been a few weeks now and I’m finding my girl has just been able to decompress. I think she’s just not so mentally exhausted which has allowed her to be in a much better mood. I wish I could say the same for my son. For the past 2-3 weeks he has been really really whiny in the evenings. It starts around 5:30 until bed around 8.
One of his new obsessions, though, is watching wheel of F. He pretends to be vanna and puts on my shoes and finds some sparkly shirt. He touches the tv to ‘turn’ the letters. I’m having fun with it because I grew up loving that show. I even tried making my own wheel out of cardboard and sticks. My mom got me a wheel board game for Christmas one year and even an ornament too. Ahhh, now the next generation obsession begins. My girl tolerates it I think. She keeps asking if this is going to be our forever show now.
This post may be brain dump because I also wanted to capture a few things. First is that my son calls my girl by her name now. As long as he’s been able to talk he would call her sissy (not my term of endearment nanny started that one)....but over the last few weeks he all of a sudden just started calling her by her name. It seems such a small shift, but it just makes him seem like such a big boy now. He’s no longer closer to toddler and much closer to kindergartner. Sigh.
Plus after not hearing him say her name much for a few years it’s so strange to hear him say it.
The second one: as much as my girl thinks and acts like 6 going on 16, she still says ‘Alvin and the chickmunks”. I don’t correct her.
She’s already planning her birthday party in August. She starts months in advance, this one. She’s decided she wants an emoji birthday. Although it was poke.mon last week. We’ve been looking at her emoji pajamas and asking each other which ones we like best during our before bed talks. She’s trying to figure out which one she wants on her cake. That’s kind of our birthday tradition. You get to pick the theme and we do cake, presents, and have small group at house. I like the way we do it and it seems the kids do too. That may change when they go to the over the top parties, so I’m just happy where we are with it. Thus is s big birthday because I’ve told her for years when she turns 7 she can chew gum. Why I picked 7 I don’t know. So I told her all about Hubba bubba and she can’t wait.
We’ve also had some interesting conversations about secrets. Some of her ‘girlfriends’ at school were sharing secrets and she said her friend June told her something but she promised not to tell.
At first I felt like we shouldn’t have secrets at all, said as much, and she still didn’t want to share. So, I went researching to find out how to handle the best way. I came across several articles that say it’s normal development in child friendship building and what’s important is to help them understand difference between safe and unsafe secrets. She may be a bit young, but I kind of liked the idea. I’m certainly not going to be able to force her to share everything with me (as much as I want her to) and I think if I push too hard that will start a wall. So, the thought of saying that if she’s uncomfortable with anything or someone’s not safe, those secrets have to be shared with mom.
In some ways I’m an uber-protective mom and want to start early giving her words/tools to use. For the both of them really.—we all already talk about privates and no one touches them except themselves, mommy, or dr. I’ll have to see how the guidance on secrets works. Apparently it’s not an issue over the summer, my girl says, because she’s not at school. Okay then.
I’m in therapy with my sister again. I told her we need it. Turns out my sister didn’t end up back in the hospital-but was delayed even getting in touch with dr because they were closed. I just couldn’t understand how she thought the state she was in was ok. What I learned after talking to her during our therapy was that emotionally she’s not in good place. I think her dr had made some changes with her medicine that sent things wrong way. That became very clear to me in the session, as well as her therapist. Therapist suggested that just she and my sister meet for awhile which I couldn’t agree more. I think my sister needs her energy to focus on herself. We are scheduled to talk in therapy again mid next week and haven’t really been communicating much at all. I miss talking.
On the family building side...I did hear back from my known donor. He was quite open to donating now so I could try for a biological child. What I’ve learned since connecting with him and understanding more from drs office is that using a known donor is more complicated-well it is in my situation. More forms to sign, coordinating whether he would fly in to my drs office, how would I compensate him, etc. it’s so much more to think about besides just calling 1-800 ship.
It had me thinking more about things. I took a couple weeks to just soak on it. He had asked to see the language in the donor form so I did send that finally last week.
I’m not sure where this one will land. I’m kind of waiting to see his response and will decide from there. It just seems tricky to navigate these waters. Not impossible but it’s much more involved.
However, it’s not a decision I can sit on for long.
In what I think is good news (hopefully) is that my beast of a one year renovation project might finally be done beginning of next week. I’ve continued to have delays with the new contractor, pieces and parts of things missing, the ceiling beams not turning out right, landscaping turning out crappy etc. but I just keep pushing along to get it done. My realtor called a few weeks ago and asked if I wanted to sell because she might have a buyer. I initially thought about it, but given the sweat and tears and money in this thing, I couldn’t imagine just selling it to break even. Considering all the things I dealt with along the way, the fact that I can even break even is something. But, if I hold and rent it a few years I know I could actually make some money on it. Or even live in it! That plan is unlikely because even though I love the feel of it and how it’s turning out, my financial planning didn’t involve living in an expensive house and the schools are still city schools and are still slowly turning around. I just think renting it gives me time to think about it.
I’m ready to call this one done. I’ll have to post some before and after. The inside transformation is amazing. The outside still fits in the neighborhood because I left the original brick. It was beautiful and I couldn’t imagine painting or covering it. What’s crazy is that house has much better storage than my current house AND a dedicated office. I’m a bit envious.
Onwards to summer! Swimming lessons and Saturday basketball here we come.
One of his new obsessions, though, is watching wheel of F. He pretends to be vanna and puts on my shoes and finds some sparkly shirt. He touches the tv to ‘turn’ the letters. I’m having fun with it because I grew up loving that show. I even tried making my own wheel out of cardboard and sticks. My mom got me a wheel board game for Christmas one year and even an ornament too. Ahhh, now the next generation obsession begins. My girl tolerates it I think. She keeps asking if this is going to be our forever show now.
This post may be brain dump because I also wanted to capture a few things. First is that my son calls my girl by her name now. As long as he’s been able to talk he would call her sissy (not my term of endearment nanny started that one)....but over the last few weeks he all of a sudden just started calling her by her name. It seems such a small shift, but it just makes him seem like such a big boy now. He’s no longer closer to toddler and much closer to kindergartner. Sigh.
Plus after not hearing him say her name much for a few years it’s so strange to hear him say it.
The second one: as much as my girl thinks and acts like 6 going on 16, she still says ‘Alvin and the chickmunks”. I don’t correct her.
She’s already planning her birthday party in August. She starts months in advance, this one. She’s decided she wants an emoji birthday. Although it was poke.mon last week. We’ve been looking at her emoji pajamas and asking each other which ones we like best during our before bed talks. She’s trying to figure out which one she wants on her cake. That’s kind of our birthday tradition. You get to pick the theme and we do cake, presents, and have small group at house. I like the way we do it and it seems the kids do too. That may change when they go to the over the top parties, so I’m just happy where we are with it. Thus is s big birthday because I’ve told her for years when she turns 7 she can chew gum. Why I picked 7 I don’t know. So I told her all about Hubba bubba and she can’t wait.
We’ve also had some interesting conversations about secrets. Some of her ‘girlfriends’ at school were sharing secrets and she said her friend June told her something but she promised not to tell.
At first I felt like we shouldn’t have secrets at all, said as much, and she still didn’t want to share. So, I went researching to find out how to handle the best way. I came across several articles that say it’s normal development in child friendship building and what’s important is to help them understand difference between safe and unsafe secrets. She may be a bit young, but I kind of liked the idea. I’m certainly not going to be able to force her to share everything with me (as much as I want her to) and I think if I push too hard that will start a wall. So, the thought of saying that if she’s uncomfortable with anything or someone’s not safe, those secrets have to be shared with mom.
In some ways I’m an uber-protective mom and want to start early giving her words/tools to use. For the both of them really.—we all already talk about privates and no one touches them except themselves, mommy, or dr. I’ll have to see how the guidance on secrets works. Apparently it’s not an issue over the summer, my girl says, because she’s not at school. Okay then.
I’m in therapy with my sister again. I told her we need it. Turns out my sister didn’t end up back in the hospital-but was delayed even getting in touch with dr because they were closed. I just couldn’t understand how she thought the state she was in was ok. What I learned after talking to her during our therapy was that emotionally she’s not in good place. I think her dr had made some changes with her medicine that sent things wrong way. That became very clear to me in the session, as well as her therapist. Therapist suggested that just she and my sister meet for awhile which I couldn’t agree more. I think my sister needs her energy to focus on herself. We are scheduled to talk in therapy again mid next week and haven’t really been communicating much at all. I miss talking.
On the family building side...I did hear back from my known donor. He was quite open to donating now so I could try for a biological child. What I’ve learned since connecting with him and understanding more from drs office is that using a known donor is more complicated-well it is in my situation. More forms to sign, coordinating whether he would fly in to my drs office, how would I compensate him, etc. it’s so much more to think about besides just calling 1-800 ship.
It had me thinking more about things. I took a couple weeks to just soak on it. He had asked to see the language in the donor form so I did send that finally last week.
I’m not sure where this one will land. I’m kind of waiting to see his response and will decide from there. It just seems tricky to navigate these waters. Not impossible but it’s much more involved.
However, it’s not a decision I can sit on for long.
In what I think is good news (hopefully) is that my beast of a one year renovation project might finally be done beginning of next week. I’ve continued to have delays with the new contractor, pieces and parts of things missing, the ceiling beams not turning out right, landscaping turning out crappy etc. but I just keep pushing along to get it done. My realtor called a few weeks ago and asked if I wanted to sell because she might have a buyer. I initially thought about it, but given the sweat and tears and money in this thing, I couldn’t imagine just selling it to break even. Considering all the things I dealt with along the way, the fact that I can even break even is something. But, if I hold and rent it a few years I know I could actually make some money on it. Or even live in it! That plan is unlikely because even though I love the feel of it and how it’s turning out, my financial planning didn’t involve living in an expensive house and the schools are still city schools and are still slowly turning around. I just think renting it gives me time to think about it.
I’m ready to call this one done. I’ll have to post some before and after. The inside transformation is amazing. The outside still fits in the neighborhood because I left the original brick. It was beautiful and I couldn’t imagine painting or covering it. What’s crazy is that house has much better storage than my current house AND a dedicated office. I’m a bit envious.
Onwards to summer! Swimming lessons and Saturday basketball here we come.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)