Here are some things that still happen: I let her drink out of a bottle for comfort (yes she drinks out of a cup), I still have her changing pad on her dresser, and she still sleeps in her crib.
I've known for awhile that I need to address these things but I've been a big advocate of--don't fix what's not broken. It hasn't bothered me (now my nanny is another story. Drives her batty that I let my girl have a bottle).
BUT,
I finally made the move and I ordered her a big girl bed. They are going to deliver and set it up this Friday. It's timely for many reasons 1) she's almost 4 2) she's been climbing out of it for a long time now 3) it's finally falling apart. After several moves, 4 to be exact, it hadn't been put back together correctly a few times over. The railing stopped going up and down and it was barely hanging on. Just last night I saw a screw on the floor and a metal piece hanging so said forget it, I need to take the side railing off.
I can't believe it but I cried looking back at the bed without the rail and it leaning up against the wall. Came out of nowhere.
I need to embrace the process of her growing up all the way around and for the most part I do ie how I treat her, my expectations of her, etc. it's just these few lingering things.
I researched and researched beds for her. Given her room size and layout I decided on a daybed. It also made me feel better she'd be protected on 3 sides. There are some pretty poorly made beds out there so I continued to search until one popped up that I said--that's it! It was not cheap and then add on the mattress. But I splurged on it because I think it will be so cute--and its her birthday gift from me.
I showed her a picture of it the other day and she looks and says, "mom it looks like a couch". Sigh. Maybe she'll get more excited when it comes.
We've had yet another wave of sickness lasting the last 3 weeks or so. Started with both if them fevers, my girl got itchy bumps all over but dermatologist said virus, my son got croupy cough, junky cough, then vomit session one morning, and lastly my girl got a sore on the inside of her lip that I thought was canker but wasn't healing. Took her to dr and wouldn't you know--still virus!
Nanny used dr visit as opportunity to say SEE--dr says no bottles too. It was written on the take home note.
One thing at a time, I say.
Family drama still continues as my estranged sister reached out and said we need to buy her out of property because she's going to file bankruptcy. She pulled this last year and that's the last I've talked to her. I told my dad last year since he set this up he needed to deal with it. He did call and he said he told her no one has that kind of money sitting around. That's the last I've heard about it until now.
Trying to use my work legal plan to get a consultation on what our options are. I got ahold of one today and he really wasn't helpful and said he would have to charge to give any specific info. Not really how it's supposed to work so left a message with another one.
Will see.
Our old city babysitters and two of their kids are coming Thursday night. That's all I had planned ( and nanny of course) to be at her birthday but had lunch with old coworker and she asked when it was so she coming--and she asked if another of her friends could come that also has a 4 year old.
And I saw another old coworker this past weekend that just moved back to town and she coming with her almost 2 year old. And another old coworker may come too.
Looks like it IS going to be a bigger party. I told them all to keep low expectations.
At least we have a theme--rainbows--my girl has talked about her birthday ( we started counting around 120 days away) and has mentioned over and over she wants a rainbow cake. So we will.
I ordered rainbow hats, plates, napkins, and tablecloth. She also wanted the blowy things that make noise. And it's all here!!
My sons speech therapy going well I think. I like the girl we are with now. She seems to be pretty knowledgeable and my son likes her. He's already learned and uses signing (more/all done) and is trying to make sounds....more is mmmmm. We go twice a week and for now it's good.
Since the sickness we've had some really really rough bedtime routines with my girl. And I've had to take a step back because consequences like no bottle, no tv---not. Working. I've done some research over the years and she seems to fit into what some are calling spirited child. You know if you have one--wants to test everything for themselves, strong sense of right/wrong, sensitive, highly emotional and can happen quickly at times, intelligent. Basically normal parenting things like time outs etc don't work because these kids need help expressing their emotions and working though them.
I've learned this the hard way. Sometimes a consequence does work and it makes her decide to behave differently but sometimes adding consequences just ratchets it up and it escalates to nothing left to take away.
That's when I feel helpless like, now what?! We are both left frustrated, no one feels good, and I've really hollared which I don't do very often.
This has happened last two nights where during bath time I've given a warning, no change, some more behavior like pushing her brother, I say no bottle. Tantrum starts and I warn take away tv time next. Screaming and kicking so take tv. Full on meltdown for rest of bath. And there we sit.
Something clicked last night where I just said--duh, my approach isn't always working, I need some more tools.
So I am going to order a few books based on reviews. Maybe I can understand better why she behaves certain ways, what some of it means (other than I failed at something), and how I can approach differently if what I'm trying isn't working. These episodes happen much less frequent now that she's closer to 4, but I still feel like I need to get a better handle on them.
Lots more to come.
