Well......suffice it to say that the start of this school year has been rough. This is week three for my girl as she started August 14th. The first three days were great. She loved being back, knew the school, etc.. and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Then that weekend on Sunday my son picked up a virus. Pretty high fever on/off so mid that week I took him to the Dr. to test for strep. Thankfully it was negative, but he still was consistently getting fevers. He's still sick right now and it's day 10. It's moved to his chest and his sinuses and he's been coughing so terribly and still on/off fever. I'm trying everything to help get him some relief like motrin/tylenol and Dr. recommended zar.bees for cough, even zyr.tec to dry things up.....nothing is really knocking it out, but it's managing to give him some relief sometimes. I've even pulled out the rx cough medicine so he can at least sleep and not be woken up every hour with fits of coughing. This is a nasty virus. AND, Im pretty sure he picked it up from one of the play places. Those places make me cringe, but man the kids love them.
So, with my son being pretty sick for what seems like a long time now, my girl's first 3 days were good, but then the second week was the first full week. Towards middle of week things started to go downhill. By wednesday she had decided to completely empty out all the bins and bookshelves in the toyroom so it looked like a tornado went through there. She’s never done anything like that. At the same time she was showing signs of being exhausted (very fussy, only wanted to watch tv, short-tempered). Then by Thursday night she was just done. She was crying, very emotional....she had just had it. So, because I know my kid I said a full week of school right now is just too much for her, it’s enough. I told her she could stay home on Friday and we would have some special time together. She was like, yes!. She initially said she wanted to go just in the morning and I would pick her up at lunch, but in the morning I asked her if she just wanted to stay home all day. I ended up taking a vacation day so I could spend time w/ her and my son, poor sick kid. I took her to a special lunch, then I surprised her by asking if she wanted to go get pedicures for the first time. She jumped up and down for joy and was SO excited. That right there was enough for me to know I had made the right decision. I think the school days are too long for these kids (at least mine) and I think they just need more downtime. They go all day from 8-3:20pm, then come home and do whatever homework is assigned (in second grade!), then they eat dinner and barely have time to relax before it's bedtime and do it all over again. I’ve felt this way since she’s been in all day public school last year.
We both really enjoyed the pedicure. We tried a new place and the ladies were so nice to her since it was her first 'real' one. They gave her a little toy, some cookies, and even painted a teeny tiny flower on her big toes. She loved it. I did too as it gave me time to just be with her, no distractions, and in a relaxing environment. Ahhhhh.
It was good for me too because I have to say, I'm in a bit of a slump. It started with after the surgery I had a bit of a dip from all the medications, which is what I expected. But the physical recovery took a while...I still feel pulling, aching, etc. and it's been over two months. I think emotionally, though, I'm kind of not all back yet. A big reason is that I've been working from home mostly and I do that from my room in my bed. I don't have a dedicated office so when kids are home, it's the quietest place. But, that means I sit cross legged or lie down most of the day and hardly move except to go out and eat lunch. I have started to call my bedroom 'the cave'....because that's how it's been feeling. The walls are closing in a bit, so I just need to go to the office. But, I've been drinking caffeine a lot lately, don't go to sleep until like 1am, then I am so groggy because I've been up a few times w/ a sick kid and then they are up at 6:40am or later if I'm lucky. I feel so tired in the morning that the thought of getting myself ready to go in the office feels overwhelming. Im probably feeling a bit depressed and need to break the cycle and just change it. For those that know how it feels, that is completely easier said than done. Things just feel so heavy.
I think I just have to suck it up and change it up. Part of me keeps rationalizing, though, that I just have to hang in there only for a few more months. See, ive decided I'm going to take the plunge and leave corporate america in January. I’ve thought about this and stewed on this for so long and probably even mentioned it on here for a few years. I think I really have gotten to a point to say I’m ready. There is fear, of course....but I just won’t let it stop me. It’s kind of like taking my safety net/blanket (what I’ve known/done for 16 years) away so it causes me to be a bit anxious. But, the timing is great as my incentives will have all been paid out, and I've been working on my financial plan since having kids so I can have choices. Another big driver other than being burned out by the machine, is that I truly think unless I change something.....nothing will change. From a health perspective I'm the heaviest I've ever been and frankly so tired of being tired and sweaty all the time. I feel like something needs to give in order to free up time for me to focus on me. I haven't figured out a way to do it in the 7 years I've had children and been a single parent. I keep thinking that if I can just take something off my plate for awhile I will have that time to put back into myself.
So, I'm thinking to start out w/ a year. Give myself a year to refocus. I get excited just thinking about it. I can hardly wait......lots of changes come with completely changing my lifestyle....and I need to be sure I'm starting to think through what those challenges might be....will I be lonely? Will I stress about healthcare/insurance? Will I even like it?
More to come but I'm always looking for the what next, and at least as of now....that's my plan!
Wednesday, August 28, 2019
Friday, August 16, 2019
Back to School already
It's kinda weird. I felt like we had the whole summer ahead of us, so much time to do all the things we wanted to do and then BAM....back to school really snuck on me. I think it's because a lot happened over this summer...my surgery, first basketball season, getting construction house on the market after a whole year, our nanny quitting, 2 week everyday swimming lessons, a seventh birthday party, using the back up nanny care for two weeks, then finding a new nanny, then school started!
Some great news.....my care ad did result in us hiring a new nanny. I interviewed her a few weeks ago, then I called her references which were glowing, then last Saturday the kids and I met her at a restaurant. My daughter was very taken by her and during our lunch she leaned over and said, "Mom, can she be our nanny?" My son on the other hand, all of this change has been harder on him. He was very shy when our back up nanny came, Pascale was her name. She was from Cameroon originally and was very sweet with the kids. She gave these great big hugs and my son was in them pretty quickly that day, thankfully. She definitely looked after the kids, but I realized that cleaning up their messes wasn't her strong suit. At times there were papers all over, paint on the walls, in the bathroom, glitter everywhere, etc.. But honestly I figured for two weeks, it's fine. Knowing I still needed to find new care it was still a bit stressful for me. I worked from home most of those two weeks which allowed the kids (and me) to feel more comfortable, but was harder for me. Also, since she wasn't allowed to drive, they still had their second week of swimming lessons I took them to everyday.
Anyway, our new nanny started Monday of this week. She is younger, 23 to be exact, and had been a nanny for two years with a family in her hometown. She and her sister decided to move away from home to the 'big city' so that's what brought her here. What I noticed off the bat was she is very mature for her age. After spending time with her I also noticed she is very calm. That is SO good for our house since we all three can get worked up a bit. My son's into hollering right now. About most everything. She is also quite bright. I can tell she has a future when she decides to go back to school.
So, it did take a few days with my son because he had just started to get into a routine w/ Pascale and then she was gone, now a new one. I completely get it. It's been a lot of change over the last month for him. I think now that it is day five, it's gotten much better. He's been hugging on her and she will play endless card games with him, so he's more content.
I will feel more settled once we go through the expectations sheet, etc. and figure out what schedule we actually will follow. She's now working 7-5:30 M-F until my son goes back to school after labor day. Then I have to decide whether I am going to put him in afternoon classes a few days a week and maybe just not have her come until the afternoon for pick up. That would leave me to take them in the morning. I just don't have enough for her to do all day if the kids are in school until the afternoon. I had actually posted for a full time or part time nanny, but I was mostly seeing full time.
We'll make it work. As I mentioned in my last post, we aren't looking back about old nanny. In a nutshell, I was working w/ her on some behaviors that we struggled w/ for a good long while--the phone and texting was one of them. The kids were telling me she was constantly on her phone ( I saw it too)...my son would tell me she wouldn't play with him at the park anymore and would just sit there on her phone. And when i asked she didn't deny it. She was having so much going on her personal life w/ her daughter and husband--like crazy things involving police since October of last year, that she was also just showing up exhausted, very short w/ the kids, etc... Anyway, I was trying to work w/ her and I think she just felt the heat. Now that the kids were older they were telling me more about what they didn't like. I also told her given all the stuff happening at her house, I didn't want the kids going over there. I also learned she was doing a ton of personal errands and asked her to limit that. There were also other things that just keep adding up. It got to the point where I started looking up 'when is it time to get a new nanny'. So, after a few tough conversations she basically just quit. The way in which she did it said a lot about her, though, because she did it out of spite and anger. Which in turn shocked and hurt my children. There is no excuse for not giving a notice period (which I had even suggested to her before if she felt like things weren't going well and she was unhappy) when you are dealing with a 4 and 6 year old. Can't comprehend after 4 years her leaving like that. On top of all that after she left my daughter happened to mention she saw her pick up phone in car and even text. Completely unacceptable and she was well aware of that. But like I said, the kids have been so much more resilient that I expected and couldn't be more grateful. My son has hardly mentioned her, but my daughter has asked a time or two about her before we got our new nanny. I think with our new routine it will just become a memory soon enough.
And already Wednesday of this week we are back to school. My daughter started second grade. I have a seven year old. We went to meet the teacher this past Monday....and are also trying to survive the heat right now. August in the south is basically stepping into a heated sauna every time you open the door. It's gross. Today was so hot I could hardly stand it. Anyway school.
We are back in the same school we were in last year, public school, and it actually felt nice to 'go back' to somewhere I was already familiar with. Same halls, same procedures, etc.. There's so much less stress when you know what to expect. I think my girl felt the same way because she was hugging some of the staff she knew at meet the teacher night and telling me all about the school. The first three days they allow parents to walk kids to their classrooms so on Wednesday I had nanny drive and I got out w/ my girl. We headed in the school and she was so excited I could hardly keep up w/ her. I finally said I needed to hold her hand so she wouldn't get too far ahead. And lo and behold when we got to the classroom she dropped my hand. My heart broke a little. She settled herself in just fine, gave me hugs (whew I still got those), and off I went.
Last year I walked with her all three days but Wednesday night she comes and says, 'Mom, I may want to walk by myself to class tomorrow'. Outwardly I said, Sure thing...whatever you are comfortable with. On the inside I was crying like a baby. Like wow only one day of walking to class?
Sure enough we dropped her off in the back of school yesterday and today....all by herself. As I looked back and watched her walking in with her emoji backback I did get me some tears.
It's been very tiring for her, but she's hanging in there. Thankfully they didn't give kids homework on the first 3 days.
I am not surprised by her wanting to do it herself. She's been wired since birth to be independent and pretty convicted in what she wants. I am trying my best to be supportive of her, let her know that I will always hold her up, although we may not always agree. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a 12 year old, not a 7 year old. She still likes having our little birthday parties at our house like before....this year her theme was Poke.mon. It was so fun ordering the plates, etc.. and letting her help pick out the cake this year. Really just so nice and relatively easy.
It really has been a whirlwind of a summer. Not sure I mentioned but we spent 4th of July in a hotel up the road. We had so much fun w/ the kids jumping from bed to bed, watching the fireworks out of the window we could see so many different displays of them. We got to order in pizza, swim in the pool, and eat an awesome continental breakfast. They loved it. in fact my girl talked about it tonight and asked if we could make it a tradition. Sounds like a good one to me!
I have started to organize some before and after pictures of construction house and will put them out here soon enough. Until then, some pics from the birthday and first day of school.
Some great news.....my care ad did result in us hiring a new nanny. I interviewed her a few weeks ago, then I called her references which were glowing, then last Saturday the kids and I met her at a restaurant. My daughter was very taken by her and during our lunch she leaned over and said, "Mom, can she be our nanny?" My son on the other hand, all of this change has been harder on him. He was very shy when our back up nanny came, Pascale was her name. She was from Cameroon originally and was very sweet with the kids. She gave these great big hugs and my son was in them pretty quickly that day, thankfully. She definitely looked after the kids, but I realized that cleaning up their messes wasn't her strong suit. At times there were papers all over, paint on the walls, in the bathroom, glitter everywhere, etc.. But honestly I figured for two weeks, it's fine. Knowing I still needed to find new care it was still a bit stressful for me. I worked from home most of those two weeks which allowed the kids (and me) to feel more comfortable, but was harder for me. Also, since she wasn't allowed to drive, they still had their second week of swimming lessons I took them to everyday.
Anyway, our new nanny started Monday of this week. She is younger, 23 to be exact, and had been a nanny for two years with a family in her hometown. She and her sister decided to move away from home to the 'big city' so that's what brought her here. What I noticed off the bat was she is very mature for her age. After spending time with her I also noticed she is very calm. That is SO good for our house since we all three can get worked up a bit. My son's into hollering right now. About most everything. She is also quite bright. I can tell she has a future when she decides to go back to school.
So, it did take a few days with my son because he had just started to get into a routine w/ Pascale and then she was gone, now a new one. I completely get it. It's been a lot of change over the last month for him. I think now that it is day five, it's gotten much better. He's been hugging on her and she will play endless card games with him, so he's more content.
I will feel more settled once we go through the expectations sheet, etc. and figure out what schedule we actually will follow. She's now working 7-5:30 M-F until my son goes back to school after labor day. Then I have to decide whether I am going to put him in afternoon classes a few days a week and maybe just not have her come until the afternoon for pick up. That would leave me to take them in the morning. I just don't have enough for her to do all day if the kids are in school until the afternoon. I had actually posted for a full time or part time nanny, but I was mostly seeing full time.
We'll make it work. As I mentioned in my last post, we aren't looking back about old nanny. In a nutshell, I was working w/ her on some behaviors that we struggled w/ for a good long while--the phone and texting was one of them. The kids were telling me she was constantly on her phone ( I saw it too)...my son would tell me she wouldn't play with him at the park anymore and would just sit there on her phone. And when i asked she didn't deny it. She was having so much going on her personal life w/ her daughter and husband--like crazy things involving police since October of last year, that she was also just showing up exhausted, very short w/ the kids, etc... Anyway, I was trying to work w/ her and I think she just felt the heat. Now that the kids were older they were telling me more about what they didn't like. I also told her given all the stuff happening at her house, I didn't want the kids going over there. I also learned she was doing a ton of personal errands and asked her to limit that. There were also other things that just keep adding up. It got to the point where I started looking up 'when is it time to get a new nanny'. So, after a few tough conversations she basically just quit. The way in which she did it said a lot about her, though, because she did it out of spite and anger. Which in turn shocked and hurt my children. There is no excuse for not giving a notice period (which I had even suggested to her before if she felt like things weren't going well and she was unhappy) when you are dealing with a 4 and 6 year old. Can't comprehend after 4 years her leaving like that. On top of all that after she left my daughter happened to mention she saw her pick up phone in car and even text. Completely unacceptable and she was well aware of that. But like I said, the kids have been so much more resilient that I expected and couldn't be more grateful. My son has hardly mentioned her, but my daughter has asked a time or two about her before we got our new nanny. I think with our new routine it will just become a memory soon enough.
And already Wednesday of this week we are back to school. My daughter started second grade. I have a seven year old. We went to meet the teacher this past Monday....and are also trying to survive the heat right now. August in the south is basically stepping into a heated sauna every time you open the door. It's gross. Today was so hot I could hardly stand it. Anyway school.
We are back in the same school we were in last year, public school, and it actually felt nice to 'go back' to somewhere I was already familiar with. Same halls, same procedures, etc.. There's so much less stress when you know what to expect. I think my girl felt the same way because she was hugging some of the staff she knew at meet the teacher night and telling me all about the school. The first three days they allow parents to walk kids to their classrooms so on Wednesday I had nanny drive and I got out w/ my girl. We headed in the school and she was so excited I could hardly keep up w/ her. I finally said I needed to hold her hand so she wouldn't get too far ahead. And lo and behold when we got to the classroom she dropped my hand. My heart broke a little. She settled herself in just fine, gave me hugs (whew I still got those), and off I went.
Last year I walked with her all three days but Wednesday night she comes and says, 'Mom, I may want to walk by myself to class tomorrow'. Outwardly I said, Sure thing...whatever you are comfortable with. On the inside I was crying like a baby. Like wow only one day of walking to class?
Sure enough we dropped her off in the back of school yesterday and today....all by herself. As I looked back and watched her walking in with her emoji backback I did get me some tears.
It's been very tiring for her, but she's hanging in there. Thankfully they didn't give kids homework on the first 3 days.
I am not surprised by her wanting to do it herself. She's been wired since birth to be independent and pretty convicted in what she wants. I am trying my best to be supportive of her, let her know that I will always hold her up, although we may not always agree. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a 12 year old, not a 7 year old. She still likes having our little birthday parties at our house like before....this year her theme was Poke.mon. It was so fun ordering the plates, etc.. and letting her help pick out the cake this year. Really just so nice and relatively easy.
It really has been a whirlwind of a summer. Not sure I mentioned but we spent 4th of July in a hotel up the road. We had so much fun w/ the kids jumping from bed to bed, watching the fireworks out of the window we could see so many different displays of them. We got to order in pizza, swim in the pool, and eat an awesome continental breakfast. They loved it. in fact my girl talked about it tonight and asked if we could make it a tradition. Sounds like a good one to me!
I have started to organize some before and after pictures of construction house and will put them out here soon enough. Until then, some pics from the birthday and first day of school.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)