Thanksgiving Plans and Tidbits

Great news....we DID go back to school last Tuesday. I was really really surprised, actually. I fully expected them to push it out, shut down through holidays. We have continued to have cases come up, but not at the amount we were having. I think the principal was getting inundated with emails, etc. because she sent a note out saying they have no plans to shut down over the holidays until the new year (what I was wondering as well). I think so many agree that keeping kids in school is the best thing, as long as we can do it safely.

And of course due the virus I just wasn't comfortable planning to go anywhere for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. I had thought about heading to old nanny's house about 6 hours away.....but if I'm being honest, I didn't want to spend time around her daughter. She's now in college, still very entitled, and still has some issues with her mother coming to visit us...so I'd rather just not. I didn't even think about heading north to my cousins due to not wanting to fly anywhere.  We didn't go last year because that's when my girl's issues surfaced, and the year before that I think my aunt had her major surgery. It was also last year on Thanksgiving when my Dad passed away. I thought about that today when I took a walk with an old coworker....we finished walking and the topic of holidays came up. She asked what we were going to do and out of nowhere I got emotional when talking about the fact that my mom was gone AND my dad was gone.....holidays can be tough in general, but layer on holidays during a pandemic, with a new loss, and no traveling. Makes sense why I was teary.

However, I am determined to make the best of it.....I got an email about a basketball camp next Mon-Wed, and thought about it--only for a minute--because they would love something like that--but not during a pandemic. I just couldn't see how that could be safe enough. SO.....I decided that we are going to the same hotel we did last year for a night. I know the kids love it (they call it the E hotel) and I feel safe enough going since we will be in our room by ourselves. The hotel has protocols in place where you can still get the awesome buffet breakfast, but they just serve you and you can take it with you....also, the pool is open and you just reserve a 30 minute slot for just your family. It sounds good. My girl has kept asking about it so just tonight I called to make sure I was comfortable, and booked it. They both started screaming, hugging, and running around the room when i got off the phone. I just wanted them to have SOMETHInG to look forward to, you know?? I learned from last year not to go on the actual holiday because you can't get any delivery food, nothing open...so we are going next week Tues to Wed. It really was heart warming to see both of them so excited about something.

So, Monday we have the new dentist we are trying....I'm wanting a second opinion because our other dentist sent my girl to ortho and they said she needs an expander and braces now....and then probably again when all her adult teeth grow in. She's only 8! I'm just not sure about that plan.

Tue-Wed: we will go to the hotel

Thurs: I will try to cook some actual Thanksgiving food. I'm proud of myself because I've already started thinking about it a week ahead of time and purchased a few things.

Fri-Sun: Play by ear, but hopefully good weather will be here and we can do a few bike rides, walks, and maybe parks.

I just put the kids to bed after writing this first part and during our talk my girl was already planning what she was going to bring, what she was going to do first when we get to the hotel.....yes, I think this is a win! And my son just yelled out, "Mom I love you!" which he does most every night after I've tucked them in and I'm settled in the recliner. 

My son tidbits:

--when I went to pick up my son last week from school he told me there were 3 good things about coming home sick 1) no school 2) get to eat popsicles 3) get to watch football. And then he said Oh, and I get to have you. Awwwww.

--My son has taken to coming to my bed every night again. Somewhere between 11-2. He just comes in, lays down, and stretches his hand out so we can hold hands. Once he does that for a few minutes, he rolls the other way and goes to sleep. I think it is so sweet that I haven't stopped it. Now, what doesn't work is when I am not sleeping in my bed. Sometimes I sleep in the chair or the couch...but he'll find me wherever I am and ask to go into my bed. Sometimes I do, but if I send him back to his bed, I know he'll be back. So the multiple wake ups for me is not working.

--he still can't pronounce his L's....they are W's.  Mom, wook at that!

--During tuck in he's into playing mind games like 'would you rather'....would you rather be an elephant or a cheetah? Also 20 questions with an animal....one time he picked a tasmanian tiger. C'mon here I have no chance. We also do the color game where we each get a turn picking one and guessing. We ask if it's in the rainbow or not. One time he chose not just gold, but it had to be glittery gold. lol.

--He is a morning person. The minute he wakes up he's ready to get dressed and is most often in a good mood. I don't even have to tell him to get ready. i love that he likes to 'do his hair' already and he puts in the 'jay-ell'. A bit too much sometimes, but hey, he's working on it.

--He's into making a kissing/smooch sound until I notice it and do it back. Smooch smooch. I'm sure some day this will embarrass him completely, but right now I'm finding these smooches, and the I love you's many times a day so sweet I hope they never stop.

--I love watching football together. We have the love of playing and watching sports in common. He has a football that he will have me throw to him over and over and over....while he falls to the floor with a fumble, or jumps on the couch with a one armed catch....the entire time we 'watch' the game. 

My Girl tidbits:

--she absolutely surprises me sometimes. She's not overly emotional with hugs or words (unlike her brother) , but when she wants hugs, etc I'm always here to give them. Well just a few weeks ago she wrote this most amazing letter to me saying how much she loved me. It totally took me by surprise because she had never written anything like that before and it was soooo heartfelt. We had such a bonding moment over it because I gave her the biggest hug I could to thank her and she just melted into it. It was so so sweet.

--She really loves her crafts, coloring, drawing, painting, etc.. She is very artistic and while I was somewhat when I was younger, she takes it to another level. I think she got it from my mom because my mom knew how to sew, paint, make things out of nothing. And that's just like my daughter. I really try my best because crafty things aren't the first things that come to mind when thinking about what to do....but when we get into something I find that I genuinely like it. For example, we had this old terry cloth towel that my girl wanted to cut up and make a coat for her bear. I said sure....but she just couldn't figure out how to do w/out sewing. She even got the sewing kit out and asked if I would help her. So, I did my best to cut out around the arms, sewed the sides together with needle and thread.....and wouldn't you know, it came out so good! We both said we had no idea it would actually turn out! She hugged me and thanked me. I need to remember that it's not about whether I know exactly what I am doing, it's that I tried it with her. I hope that's what she remembers.

--I am really impressed by how many things she comes up with for the two of them to do. The other day she made a "Chompasaurus" game and used some balled up tinfoil, a cardboard box she snagged at the grocery store that had 6 holes in it, and a red mark taped to the wall. I have no idea how the game worked but there was a bowl with some money next to it....I guess she had her brother pay to play, hahaha..

--My girl said she wanted a turn sleeping in my bed....I think because she knows her brother does it all the time. But, I figured why shouldn't she get a turn? So last weekend she stayed a night in my bed and she actually fell asleep faster than I can remember. She did wake up to come and get me to go in the bed, which of course I did. It was so cute because once we both were laying there, what did she do? But outstretch her hand and want to hold mine too. It was just so so sweet.

Overall I think we are doing okay here....for me personally, I did fall off the rails a bit with everything, but now that the kids are back in school and feeling better, I am handling things a bit better....walked 2 days in a row now, ate at home for lunch today, no caffeine here and there.  A work in progress, but as long as I'm trying, i feel better.

I'm going to hope and pray that we can stay in school, stay healthy, have a nice Thanksgiving break next week, and go back to school through Christmas break.

School shut down. Again.

 I knew it.....I just knew this was likely to happen. Our school shut down because of Covid on this past Thursday. We have 70 ish schools in our district from elementary through highschool and only 2 have shut down--and we are one of them!  UUUGGGGHHH and Noooooooooo!

This last week has not been a great one.....my stress level totally shot up, my kids got sick, we've had Mickeys for lunch 4 days this week and chick f a for lunch on the other.  It's ridiculous.  I feel terrible that my coping skill of eating out has been thrown upon my children this week. Oh and let's not forget I, along with millions of people, sat on the edge of our seats all week watching the election. Day and night.

Rewind to last weekend I thought my decision to take the kids to an outside greenspace would have been fine. We went on Saturday and Sunday. Well, by Monday my son started to have congestion and by Tuesday he wasn't feeling well at all--no fever, but just a rotten headcold. So, I told him we could see how it went at school and if he started feeling worse to come home....OR he could stay home in the morning and see how he did, and go to school later if he was ok.  He wanted to go to school so we had normal routine, I dropped them off, but then not more than 15 minutes after I got home the nurse was calling to go pick him up.  And that put us in the covid protocol at our school. We had to have a dr. note, a clear covid test, OR stay home for 10 days.  I knew he just had a headcold so I assumed we would go to the Dr. and she would write a note. Well, she surprised me and said because he had two symptoms (congestion and headache) that she wouldn't write a note and he could stay home for 10 days or have covid test. The headache was debatable because when you ask a 6 year old do you have this?do you have that? they usually say yes.  I know she was erring on the side of caution, I get it. BUT, that meant test. I didn't think staying home for 10 days was a good option.

The test was terrible. I had to hold his head while they put a swab in each of his nostrils (to do the rapid and the send off one). She pushed the swab in his nose soooo far, then twisted it around for the slowest count to 10 ever. He was crying and squirming and I'm sure it felt like the swabs were in his brain. Awful. When she was finally done his nose started bleeding. Poor kid, it was not a good one at all. After we left and 30 minutes later they called and said the rapid test was negative.  However, because they wait for the 2 day one to totally clear someone, he had to be home on Wednesday too, and we expected the call on Thursday morning.

Wednesday morning was not good because my daughter had started complaining of not feeling that great also, but she didn't have a ton of congestion, she had no fever, so I said listen, let's just head to school and it should all get better throughout the day. She melted down a bit because her brother got to stay home and she didn't. She said she was upset because he was going to get all the attention, which is a hot button w/ my kids, well I suppose all kids.... Anyway, we still made it to school okay, but sure enough a bit after noon the nurse calls. Nurse said my girl was saying she had stomach hurting and needed to come home. Of course, I know how she was in the morning upset and I wasn't sure how 'real' this was. The nurse also knows the history w/ my girl and her struggles, and told me my girl might just be upset because brother was home. We were only 2 1/2 hours until end of day and I told the nurse I just didn't want her to get put under the protocol too. Nurse said she would try and work with her and see what she could do, fully understanding the situation. Didn't work, nurse called me back saying to come get her.

So now, both kids home on Wednesday and I read my email that night and CRAP, they said they are closing the school until at least Tuesday of next week due to Covid.  In the background, whenever a new Covid test was reported we'd get an email, and it seemed like I was getting daily emails....I just knew things weren't looking good at school. Our school has about 815 kids and we are currently at 25 cases between staff and students. Before the shutdown, and after getting all the emails, the principal sent a note saying that there was an outbreak in one of the 5th grade classrooms. So, I suspect someone got sick in the classroom, they notify you directly if you could have been exposed to that person, then everyone got tests from there and bam.....an outbreak.

I fully understand the shut down....I really do......but, I started feeling so mad. Why?? Why our school? My kids need school so badly. Not any more than anyone else's, of course, but I started wondering with only shutting down 5 days, will they keep pushing it out more like they did in the Spring. Will they push it out so far that they won't go back until after the holidays? Or at all? I just can't think about it.

On Thursday we got the call my son's 2 day covid test was also negative. I knew it would be.

So, on top of sick kids home all day again and fighting about doing school work, etc. I was completely glued to watching the election all day and into the wee hours. I just couldn't stop watching....the votes just trickling in. I can say I've never watched a political election so closely as I watched this one in my entire life.

My exercise is off the rails. My caffeine is off the rails. My eating out is off the rails. It hasn't been the best few weeks, to say the least. I think the biggest thing for me to work on going forward is to learn new coping schools....food and sleep are my coping skills of choice. I didn't really think of sleep as a coping skill, but after digging into why I'm coming home and taking a nap after dropping off the kids at school....I think it's because I've been feeling a bit lonely, and the days feels so big when I'm here by myself--and, I've napped even when I'm not actually tired. I'm motivated when the kids are around, but if I'm by myself, it's such a different story. I didn't realize that I actually DO get my energy from being around other people. Who knew? But, it's so true....when the kids get home I start doing laundry, dishes, cook dinner, etc.. I have all day to do it, but don't until they get home. I just jump into mom mode.  

So, the silver lining in this time of me being at home is I really am learning a lot about myself. It's hard learning and not always pleasant. It's been a time of self-discovery, more self awareness....but then it becomes, what will I do w/ it?  I've even had thoughts about going back to work because I learned that not having enough time is not the reason I'm not doing things. At least with work I felt productive, like I was accomplishing something. Apparently I do well with deadlines and a forced structure. I'm not planning to go back to work any time soon, however, so it's really just allowing myself the space to work through all of these things. Be kind to myself and having realistic expectations while doing it. That is turning out to be harder than I thought.

I so hope the kids get to go back to school on Tuesday.