I am completely feeling like we are back to when my daughter was 3 1/2 and my son was 11/2 and weekends were a battleground. I come up for air on Mondays. That’s just what’s been happening here for last month or so.
Take today for example. I figured since we had a birthday party for my son’s classmate at a roller rink that we’d have a good day, be active, do something fun......well....the morning started out okay but by 11:00am it started to go downhill from there. At the party we got skates on, got the walkers they use, and were trying it out in the practice area. It was so loud with the music, there was a hundred birthdays going on at once, so also crowded. My girl was having a great time trying to get more and more independent skating while my son tried it for 5 minutes and pretty much had it. I was walking behind him and the walker holding him up by his shorts—sweating. Fun times.
Took a break to eat the crappy pizza, then cake etc and they wanted to skate more.
I can call it crappy because I technically paid for some of them.. Since my son was invited I’m still trying to navigate how to manage parties with both kids. If I don’t bring both then I’m paying to leave one home. So I texted the mom ahead of time and asked her if I could bring my daughter as well but would pay for her. The mom said sure. So I made sure to give the mom cash today.
Anyway, after lunch my son just started melting. He said his tummy hurt, then said it was fine? My girl wanted to skate more on the big rink, so we all go, but then they kicked my son and I off since he ditched skates and was just in socks. He starts whining and throwing himself around, she’s wanting me to watch her....clearly I needed a second set of hands.i could sense the start of meltdown city so I told her she could go a few more rounds while I wrangle my crying son into his shoes. I did feel bad because she was having so much fun and even skated without the walker! I just had to get him outta there. All the way home he’s fussing and bickering with his sister.
Then, after rest time he’s much better but then it was her turn the rest of the day. Ooooh boy. Let me tell you she’s been really exhausting during the weekends. Lots of backtalking, no patience, not wanting to play with her brother. Not much works except separating them so she spent time in her room. There’s usually a trigger with her and it’s tired, hungry, or sick. Not sure which it was today. By the time dinner rolled around and was ready she was on verge of a major.
I’m spent. Refereeing these two is exhausting and I really do wish today I could have had someone pick either of them up. I truly think both of them needed mom time also since my girl has been verbalizing she wants me to play with only her. I did my best to occupy my son so she and I could get out the face paints but today it just wasn’t enough.
Even last weekend when we went to a birthday party at a home for one of my girls classmates—my son just didn’t do well. He hid under my shirt, was a lot sassy, didn’t know what he wanted. In general, he just doesn’t do well in new places with new people. He needs a lot of time to warm up and I think those situations are just overwhelming to him. I’m still a bit surprised by this because I still have this view that he’s more easy going than my girl. He’s not.
She, on the other hand, is the complete opposite and loves parties and people and get togethers. She wears herself out playing and just enjoying it all. Maybe just the difference between introvert and extrovert?
I don’t know but taking my son to parties is hard work and exhausting.
My son in general had been having a tough time over the last month. He was sick for about a full month, then started school and that was no bueno. The five days a week plus two afternoons was way too much. The weekend after his first week was intolerable so I kept him home two days the following week and also changed him to 1 afternoon.
I do think the nanny change is sinking in now so that might also be part of it. I don’t think he understood at first that our nanny wasn’t coming back. We had that interim one for two weeks, then our new one, and I think he thought she was temporary too. He’s been asking a lot now about when the old one is coming back. I’ve tried to be soft about the explanation and say she is taking care of her daughter so we have a new one now who’s going to be with us.
I thought I got off pretty easy when he wasn’t talking about our old one but now I get that he just didn’t fully understand and was confused. Rightfully so the kid is only 4. The good news is that while he has been asking, he is not crying about her. He does seem sad at times but I just acknowledge his feelings and hope with time it will get better.
My daughter truly doesn’t seem to mind she’s not here. She was very distraught that first night but since then has been quite resilient and talks about her in normal conversation but it doesn’t seem to be affecting her.
So in a nutshell I do think my son has had a hard time adjusting to our new normal with different nanny, going back to school, and on top of being sick for so long. My girl is doing okay during the week but the weekend is circa 2016 and it’s been tough.
I’m hanging in there. I just keep thinking January can’t come fast enough. I’ve got some big programs I’m working on at work so I’ve got some pressure with those. I’ve continued working mostly from home and it’s not great but I can’t get it together to get in office. I did finally see our work provided counselor who goes to campus 2 days a week. Interestingly her other 3 days are spent counseling families at the big cancer hospital my mom and I went to. We talked some about that time in my life and gosh is it still painful. It’s harder to talk through when I’m on the verge of tears anyway for feeling so bleh. She and I made an appointment again for next week so will see how/where it goes.
Some good news not sure I mentioned but I rented construction house!! While it was listed for sale a couple who had seen it when it was first listed for rent asked if they could still lease. They live down the street and are renovating their house. I said sure! Now, they have a dog and two kids, but this option gives me time to think about what I really want to do with it. My realtor friend keeps telling me she thinks I’ll move us there. Who knows? Maybe after I leave Corp America for a bit I’ll want to try something new with kids. I’m still so disappointed there aren’t kids in our current cul de sac. I am planning on staying here through school year then see where I want my son to start kinder next fall. It’s exciting to think about.
