About Me

I am 36 years old (37 now)(38 now)(49 now!), single, and want to become a mother. I had my ideal of marriage, house, baby, happiness. Well, life teaches you that nothing is certain and we all need to forge our own path. This is mine. UPDATE: and baby girl makes family :) And now baby boy makes bigger family!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Good Shopping Trip

It took me a little longer to feel better from the hysteroscopy. The anesthesia made me drowsy so I slept on and off Friday and Saturday. As a result...felt crummy yesterday so I finally forced myself to go to the gym, then the grocery store, then I cooked my weeks' worth of meals. Go me! 

It was a great shopping trip because when I was at the store I kind of had an AHA moment. I'll warn you, it is not a big one, nor is it novel....but I just looked around at all the different people with kids...older, younger, different socio-economic backgrounds, etc. and one thing kept popping in my head...."They are all doing this, why couldn't I? What do they have that I don't?" Because I couldn't come up with anything major, it just sort of made me feel a bit better and more calm about my thoughts. I could envision me, baby, and my sister walking around the store like all of these other people and somehow it just made it more normal.....and doable. I think I just got out of my head for a minute......and took a good look around.  People do it. Everywhere. For generations. I'm just a bit different in that I am throwing in the 'choice' aspect.  Another friend of mine recently mentioned to me that if I got pregnant w/ a boyfriend, he left, I'd certainly find a way to make it work.  And I really would.

All I can say is that I feel a little less anxious at the moment...and I am gonna take it.

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