Not even sure what to title this post

Things have not gone well today.  Okay, that's a serious understatement.

 I went over to the Dr. by 8am, waited out front as usual and they called me back to do weight/blood pressure, then get changed into my 'garb'. I don't even have the heart to post the picture of my gown/booties, etc..

I was the only one back in the surgical suite so things were running along quietly and smoothly.....the anesthesiologist was super friendly and had such a silky radio voice. I could have listened to him all day. He got my IV in on the first try and it seriously didn't even hurt that much. He did a great job. He also talked about his 17 month old daughter, so it was just nice, calm, and relaxing.

Then the Dr. came to sit next to me and said he was happy w/ how I've responded, but due to my progesterone level he decided right then and there that I would not have a fresh transfer. He said he would do the egg retrieval, then get w/ my husband--I said doc, I don't have a husband....for like the 10th time. He is so sweet that it really doesn't bother me that much. He would let the embryos grow for 5 days, then we would do some birth control--I stopped him again because due to blood clot I can't do birth control.....he said yes, yes that's right.....but it would be like 10 days or something like that before the frozen transfer.

After we talked I walked back to the surgery room and hopped up on the table. I laid down while the anesthesiologist started to inject the feel good dreamy drugs. Not going to lie, I like that one. You just feel so......good. Then once I was positioned.....OUT.

I woke up to the beeping monitor, oxygen sensor on my finger, and very relaxed and comfortable. Again, no one was around so it was quite nice and peaceful.  The nurse came over to me and asked how I was doing....I said really good, how did the procedure go?

She said......

We
didn't
get
any eggs.

HUH....?  I asked her again...what did she say? 

She said she's sorry but there were no eggs.

I really wasn't computing because I said to her, "seriously?".....and she said yes.

Completely stunned.

I asked her what happened? She said she's not sure....and asked me if I took the medication as directed. I said of course I did.  My fuzzy mind started reeling like is this really happening? How could this be? Everything was on track, I had 13-14 follicles? There was NO EGGS?

She said they were going to check my HCG blood level then call me w/ a gameplan. WTF.  I said, no I wanted to talk to the Dr. before I left.

So, I waited in the front consultation area and the financial contact who has been so supportive and sweet came in. All she had to do was look at me and I started crying. I told her I just didn't understand and she said that the Dr. had told her what happened already i.e there were no eggs. Then shortly thereafter the Dr. came in. He said he honestly just didn't understand what happened. He again asked me if I took the lupron/hcg dose and I said yes of course I did. I also asked him about the hcg because the dose she told me to take was so little. He said that was the right dose. He said he only went in about 3-5 follicles and stopped because he realized there was nothing in them. He didn't want to 'waste' what we had left.

So, I said what do we do.....he said he wanted to trigger again and have me come back tomorrow and we will go in again.  He wrote a script for another hcg trigger shot and I said I would prefer that they inject it. So, I ran over to the pharmacy, got the med, came back, and the nurse took me back to inject.

I have no idea what will happen, if my body will actually release any eggs...or if even the timing will line up. Normally you wait 36 hours after the trigger, and tomorrow at 10am will only be 24. BUT, we are already passed the normal window anyway, so who really knows.....I am just flabbergasted that we had no indication what so ever that there would be any issues. All signs were right where they should have been......

So, now I am at home, in some pain, so actually took two of the pain meds I got at the pharmacy. But, before I came home I ate some mozzarella cheese sticks....2 orders, and some pancakes. Sounds gross, but it tasted great.

I am just going to shut it out for now and take a nap. Nanny here w/ baby and she is here until 5:30pm. That gives me a good 4 hours to rest and collect myself.

A little bit of a mixmaster of emotions at the moment.