Happy (Exhausting) Holidays...and Happy New Year!

Since I haven't written in over a week, much has happened....we traveled to the midwest for Christmas and are now sitting back at home safe and sound on New Year's Eve.

I should have written when I had more energy because now my mind is going to the highlight show--

I'd like to start with the positives---great food, we had a really nice Christmas day dinner--even with my Dad being there--and spending time w my one sister and brother was nice.

What didn't go so well?  Baby girl was out of sorts almost the entire time....she was crying most of every day on and off--her tummy was upset, lots of gas and spit up--also there was a lot of commotion, new people and environment, the airplane travel.....just a lot for my little girl.  The didn't sleep well at all either--waking up way more than usual.  In addition, my sister w/ the kids came and unfortunately their homelife isn't the best....so I heard a lot of stories that were not that good, their behavior was not that good.  Add to that my sister who had the surgery was recovering and let's just say didn't have any patience.

So in summary, my baby was having one of the worst weeks, my family was not getting along, and I had to take care of my sister on top of the upset baby and mediating with everyone.  Frankly......I'm exhausted!!  It really did get so bad w/ my sister and the kids that my other sister and I decided that they needed to go home early OR decide to turn it around and stay the rest of the trip.  Ultimately they did decide to turn it around and we had a much better last day with them.  But, it took threatening to make them go home to do it.

I'm just happy to be back in our nice, calm, loving, and positive home.

On a much more positive note, baby girl is 5 months old now!!!!!!  I haven't written much about what she can do, so I thought I would share:

--she can grasp objects with her hands and bring them to her mouth
--she can see farther away and watches the TV movement and the cats with much interest
--she is on the verge of rolling over...when she lies on the floor she pulls her legs up to her belly--which causes her to fall on her side. Not quite rolling over, but she is 1/2 way there.
--when I hold her close she leans the side of her forhead onto my cheek. I love it.
--she quickly moved out of 3-6 month clothes and is in 9 month clothes and some 1 year clothes...she's long.
--I think she knows me now.  When we were w/ family at Christmas she would quickly calm down when I held her.  She reacts to my voice....turns her head. Follows me in the room.
--I can get her to give me a big ole smile when I say "Hiiiiiiii" in a higher pitch voice.
--She will sit on my lap and look at books when I read them. She is now reaching out to touch the pages.  She looks very intently at the pictures and I see her eyes scanning them.
--She loves bathtime. When I put her on the floor next to the tub I say " Are you ready for da bath?". She gets a big smile and flaps her arms and legs.  Then I say. " Why you kickin mama?". and she smiles/squeals/coos some more.
--She is "talking".  I'll sit her facing me and we have conversations. She talks, I talk.  Okay, no real words yet, but the concept is there.
--She is noticing more and more her surroundings.  Maybe because she can see farther, not sure....but I see her watching everything, everywhere.
--We still only feed 4 ounces of formula at a time. She isnt interested in more.  She eats every 2.5-3 hours still.  Probably not going to start solids for another month or so.  At night when she wakes up she can eat a bottle in 5-10 minutes. During the day it can take up to 30. Hmmm.....
--She isn't a fan of the car seat. She strains forward when sitting in it.
--She isn't a fan of the car when not moving.  Once I move it's like magic....no more crying.  Stop sign--crying. Move--not crying.
--She's drooling a lot more and loves to put everything in her mouth.  She has a S.ophie giraffe and lots of other chew toys. But she doesn't just take it to her mouth and chew.....she takes it to her mouth, quickly back out, back to the mouth...back out.
--Her cheeks are filling out.
--She is growing more hair on her head. It is still brown....her eyes are still a deep blue.
--she still looks like her donor father.
--Her toes look like mine.
--she still sleeps in her ro.ck and pl.ay.  She is not interested in lying flat to sleep. Has not yet slept the night in her crib.  I carry the play back to my room everynight.
--she loves my silly little songs...."Lotion--is my fav-or-ite thing...lotion".  I sing this to her when I put lotion on her after her bath. I also sing, "I just love you....you are my beautiful bay-ay-be girl". over and over.

I love this little girl with all my heart.  Through all of the anxiety of my pregnancy (worried about either me or the baby not making it), health complications, and early labor.....every single minute worth it.  I knew in my heart this was the path I wanted to take. 

To anyone out there on the fence, if your heart is pushing you on the path of single motherhood....do it.

Happy Holidays everyone and I hope you find your true happiness as well......