I watched the episode on the Style Network last night....it was quite interesting, but also brought up a few anxieties I have about going the donor route and being a SMC.
For the donor route, this guy was aware of at least 74 offspring. 74!!!!! I have no idea what bank he went to, but he donated for 3 years. That's one of the things I have to just let go when I think about my donor i.e. he donated at a few banks, not just one. So, w/ offspring limits not really limiting, he could have sooo MANY....oy. It's just hard for me to put myself in the shoes of having so many half siblings. And the possibility of never knowing 100% who they all are? I grew up w/ 2 sisters and a brother. That was finite. There were no others, and I knew that....but that won't be the case for my child. Part of me feels a bit selfish...I really want this baby, but at the expense of a traditional family unit for him/her. Is that fair? My family might not have been perfect, but I KNEW them, 100% all of them.
The other anxiety is about becoming SMC and then something happens to me and I leave my child w/out an immediate family. One of the teenagers in the episode was born to a SMC. Then when she was 5, her mother got cancer and passed away when she was 7. W/ no mom, no Dad, and no siblings, she got adopted w/ a Cousin family. THEN, that mother passed away. Tragic.
I understand that nothing in life is certain...heck, if that were the case I'd be married by now w/ my family. But I am not. AND, I just can't see myself settling w/ someone. Can't do it....well, have no desire to.
At least I know the father and hope to build some sort of working connection w/ him and child. That's what I have to go on.
In other news I feel "pressure" I'd say in my ovaries...left one especially. I wish I had my own ultrasound or microscope/device to peek in and see what's goin on in there. Is it working? Will I have grown a cyst, which is not good? How many follicles? I know Saturday will come soon enough, but SHEESH. Hurry up and Wait!
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