I tried to put a positive spin on the title because I am nervous as can be about traveling tomorrow. We are flying to see some great friends this year instead of family (no regrets about that) and I can't believe how anxious I am....will she be able to sit, will she melt down, will I sweat like crazy, how long will the lines be, are the clothes I got her warm enough.....the list goes on and on. We at least are flying during her close to normal nap time, so I am praying she gets some sleep....for me and her. And wouldn't you know, she has another cold. Worried about it.....as she was just getting over another one. One thing I did actually plan in advance was an activity bag--books, coloring, slinky, stickers, snacks, etc..
I think the other part of the anxiety is self-inflicted. I waited too long to go shopping for her and I for the trip. My girl had no fall/winter clothes to speak of, or any outerwear. She had some play things that a friend gave us, but I had not shopped for her since she was born (aside from one outfit) and she is 15 months old. I am grateful for all of the outfits and clothing we received as presents, so when it occurred to me that her closet was dwindling way too much I realized that it was time--only a few days before our trip. In all honesty, last week was tough w/ recovering from egg retrieval, so in fairness, I did know I needed to shop and went to a few consignment stores....but everything I bought was too big or I bought it because it was cheap, not because I really liked it.
Mama does not like shopping for herself, but found it a bit more fun for baby. And a girl at that! But, I realized I am super picky about what I will buy for her....and of course, I will be a bargain shopper forever....was ingrained in us.....we would see something on the rack...first question..."Is it on sale?"
I got stuck in trying to buy her a winter coat. I live in the south and the inventory was terrible since we've had a really cold spell, AND I found that sizing is a mess. A 2T was smaller than an 18mo. So I bought 3 coats, 2 didn't fit at all, and one is okay, but I didn't like the pattern--it was my backup coat, but will be the coat we take since we just ran out of time.
I also got her some really cute outfits w/ long sleeves, sweaters, etc..I got everything on different sales. She also needed socks, hats, mittens, tights, bigger jammies, etc.....
Shoes is a whole 'nother issue.......I thought I had done my duty by measuring her feet w/ a ruler. Well, wouldn't you know in the stores, their special shoe measuring thingies are not in inches. I pretty rude sales lady today clearly showed me that. Whatever.....I was obsessed w/ getting her some boots and a cute pair of shoes (since the shoes she's been playing in for awhile are just too ratty and her toes are at the end). I haven't decided if I am into the "must buy podiatrist recommended brands" or just some cheaper ones. I know how my feet feel when I have good shoes versus not, but her feet grow fast, etc etc.....
Anyway, I found these supercute ones in the mall but they were pretty expensive--the "recommended ones", and said I would buy two sizes, well they only had one and I said whatever I buy it. come to find out after trying the shoes on her tonight, she could have used the next size. Expensive shoes that won't last that long???? Oy what's a mama to do.......I seriously stressed about this for a few hours. I even thought about running back out (my friend was over) to the store that had the right size.......But, after realizing our trip is tomorrow, I decided I didn't need to stress about getting her another pair of shoes before going to the airport....I gave in. We are keeping the good, expensive shoes that still give her room to grow, but could be better w/ the next size.
I won't bore you w/ the details of my baby girl screaming and wiggling as I tried every single piece of clothing and shoes on her over the last few days, and the few days last week.
Lessons learned: don't wait until the last minute, having your child with you may be tough, but trying on clothes/shoes so you don't have to take a bunch of things back would have been helpful, realize all of your shower and friend gifts will run out and you actually have to do something about it.
I finally got my embryo report today......good news, I think......of the 9 mature eggs that fertilized we got 5 five-day blastocysts....2 grade A and 3 grade B. Of couse I was hoping for more in the event our first transfer doesn't take, etc....but I am going to believe it will work.
I do have to admit....I am nervous about seeing my friends w/ all the weight I've gained over the last 3 months--I am attributing it to 2 IVF rounds of drugs and stress from my job. I have probably put on 20 lbs.....but I am finally at a weight where it is noticeable in clothes i.e. my stomach has grown a sizeable second stomach above it! I've carried my weight pretty well over time since I am tall, but I haven't been this big/size my whole life.....ever. I am somewhat embarrassed. I know they all love me and won't judge me....but inside I feel pretty self-conscious.
I'm going to try my best to let all of the stress, anxiety, and worry melt away......and focus on enjoying the holidays w/ my daugther and great friends.
Whew.
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