Follicles

Well, at least on my appointment this past saturday, my follicles were growing quite nicely. I had 8-9 on the right ovary and 5 on the left one. Total 13-14. Similar to last time.  I am starting to feel the achy/fullness of my ovaries...well, makes sense considering they are growing many little balls in there.

I have been pretty stressed out over the last week. I am having second thoughts about accepting the position and moving to the new city.  I did the quick house hunting and what I am finding is how much schooling is a huge issue. Even though baby is only 15 months, from care, to pre-school, to pre-k, to school....you have to work it backwards to figure where you are going to live, what type of neighborhood you can find in that area, what you can afford, etc..etc...
Basically, nothing has totally lined up yet in terms of care for baby and living situation. I have spent countless hours on the internet researching homes, schools, driving time, distances, etc. that I've become obsessive about it.
Part of what I am worried about is my 'gut'--I have listened to it over my whole life and is hasn't steered me wrong.  And right now it's talking to me.....am I worried so much that I shouldn't do it?  I am on the fence about it. I would burn some serious bridges if I didn't go, but I have to decide what's best for my family. The option is to go back and see if the job I turned down is still available.....I think it is. But let's face it, I'd have to move for that job too and I am not sure that's the best thing for us either. My ideal would be to just stay put, but that is not an option.....since my two offers were not in town.
My heart is just not at ease right now and I dont' know what to do to fix it.
What I am doing to cope isn't helping much.....I'm eating like crazy. I am on the steriod for the cycle and I do think it increases my appetite. So, I've had a lot of drive through. And several donuts. I am not even a huge sugar fan. Now fried food, I'll take that any day.

In other news, baby girl is really blossoming in her communication. She can say several words now:
puppy=puppuh
go=go
apple=aaaaapuh
shoe=sh-sh-sh
nap=haaaap
up=puh puh puh
quack=cack cack

She doesn't just repeat the words, she knows what they mean. In the grocery store, she saw an apple and says the word. She gets her book and will point out when she sees apples. When she hears a puppy barking she looks around and she says puppuh.  She is starting to learn what things say like a duck..I'll say what does a duck say, "cack-cack". That one is pretty cute.

She is also starting to be a bit more, shall we say, temperamental.  I've struggled lately keeping my patience because she has started her whiny phase all over again. OMG. Can this girl whine. But, what sends me over the edge is she'll whine whine and I'll try to ignore....my attention turns for a moment to something else and this turkey decided to pinch or scratch me....hard. And MAN does it hurt. This morning she pinched me and I was just so frustrated that I yelled back at her to STOP. Not a proud moment because I totally lost my cool. I took both of her arms and sat her down and said NO, DO NOT HURT MAMA. She actually took notice. I think she could tell I meant business because she sat still for just a minute. She hasn't done that before. Normally she's like yeah, whatever.

It just gets frustrating because nothing works to stop her whining. She has no reason to whine. I haven't figured out why she does it w/ me and does not do it w/ the nanny. I know she doesn't because I'm home sometimes. The only thing I can think is that nanny is constantly playing or entertaining her so she doesn't whine. I don't do that. I will certainly play w/ her, but sometimes I just lay on the floor or the sofa and she will play somewhat. Where she gets super whiny is when I am walking around trying to do something....like dishes, or the phone, or laundry, or anything other than sitting w/ her.

Speaking of the nanny, the other day I came home and saw a slip of paper on the counter...it had an address and 10/hr.  I was thinking okay, she's looking for a job. It actually works out fine because we will be moving, but I hadn't told her that yet. So, sure enough just the other day she had this long story about how she doesn't want to work full time, she wants to have flexibility to get to her daughter as needed, take care of errands, etc. and I get it.  I didn't even blink when she told me. I said I understood and hopefully she can work until mid-december.  I'm not sure she knew how to take that. For some reason I feel like she was thinking I would try harder to get her to stay, I don't know.
But either way, no matter where we end up, our care situation will change.....even if we stayed here.

All I can think about is pizza cheese bread....that's what I want for dinner. And gosh darn, I may just have it.