Insomnia. I've got it. It's now 12:06am. Officially Monday. I am not totally surprised and it is somewhat my fault. I didn't stick to my rule of getting up at 9am yesterday or today. I slept in both days until around 11-12. Then today I even took a nap. Really....I do this mostly when I am bored. It would have been good for me to get out of the apartment today, go to the book store, grocery store...just somewhere. Naw...have been flipping TV all day long...mixed w/ surfing the internet. Back to a schedule tomorrow as I do have to go in the office.....I am thankful for that.
The house--well....realized that we couldn't get all inspections done by Friday close of business. So, we asked for an extension until end of day tomorrow. We even have another A/C guy coming tomorrow morning to see if a few new vents can be put in. Talk about last minute, but in the summer, it can just be that way. There are a lot of things that would need to be done to the house. Not total re-do, but still. Part of me is nervous that it will work....or that it won't work. I have waffled a bit on this because of just having an easy out next year if I decide I want to move.
Although, my apartment living peace has now been disrupted. Unfortunately this week I got some new neighbors across the hall. Imagine 2 or 3 20-something's....boys.....guess what they like to do? Surround sound video games, surround sound movies, and surround sound music. The base might as well be in my living room. At all hours of the day and night--thump thump.....thump...thump thump thump.....you get the picture. In fact right now, I can hear it and yes, It's midnight. The first few days they moved in I called the office and they'll put a letter to them. Don't have high hopes for that....but it will be at least another 6 weeks that I live here. Going to have to do something.
I finally have another preparation checked off my list!!! My friend who will be w/ me during delivery is driving here from out of town next weekend. I signed us up for the fast track one-day childbirth education class. It is from 9-5, includes general info, some breathing techniques, tour of hospital and nursery, etc..I'm excited to get to see the rooms and the floors in the hospital to help me get a picture of it all. Gives me some comfort when it is time.
I'm feeling ok. My upper stomach is still sticking out a bit more, but I was told by several people when I say I am 7 months along...wow, where is she? I don't mind at all as long as she's staying growing on track. I actually met up w/ some friends yesterday and all 3 of them have younger children. I asked a lot of questions about nannies/day cares, etc.. and it seems 2 of the 3 have really had a tough time finding the right 'fit'. Either the nanny didn't work out, the daycare just doesn't work, or all the above. One of them said her daughter is in her fifth arrangement in 6 years. Part of that included a move, but still. It got me a bit concerned. Also, they were very quiet when I asked them about motherhood....saying, "I assume it's hard, etc."....strangely quiet. Maybe they were thinking OMG, it's hard enough w/ a husband......who knows. That's why I go back and read my blogs of people just like me. Makes me feel better.
It's father's day and I didn't call my Dad. I just don't have a relationship w/ him enough to want to call. It's strange how I had such an amazing love with my Mom.....and such an angst and stress w/ my Dad all these years. He was very traditional in that he made the money, but that's where his role stopped. He wasn't the type to go outside and play catch, or take us places, etc.. He also was very short-tempered and we all never knew what would set him off. Was it that we were going to a restaurant he didn't like..? Did someone make a noise at the table? He would fly off the handle regularly....and was socially awkward.....so it was simply stressful being around him. But, that didn't stop my mom from trying to make it all work....being the peace-maker.....bringing us all together because...well...that's what families did.
Although, in a way, my mom was a single parent. My dad worked nights and slept during the day. My mom pretty much took care of everything. She was always there....at every sporting event. And guess what? We didn't have extended family around....we didn't have babysitters.....she did it all herself. And now, look who's doing the same thing? Difference is, she didn't have to have a job financially to make it happen.
It's interesting how growing up that way has shaped my views of what it means to be a great mom, what I wouldn't tolerate in a partner....and that I can do this myself. Scary as all of this is sometimes.
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