I haven't written much this week because it hasn't been such a good one. I am still recovering from my last few weeks of being sick....physically, emotionally still have a ways to go.
I am at the stage where I am wondering, 'What am I doing?' and 'What have I done?'. I've had a couple doozy set backs already and am worried about more. As an example, I have been so excessively thirsty these past several days that I can't believe it. I was trying to fold laundry the other day and I got this overwhelming 'I'm thirsty' I literally had to stop what I was doing to get some water. I am drinking so much water every day as it is......I know this can be a sign of gestational diabetes. I called the nurse today and she recommended I get my fasting blood sugar taken this weekend if possible. If it's over 120 fasting, we've got a problem.
Great. Add it to the list.
And, since I haven't been feeling well in general, I certainly haven't been eating salads. I've been eating a lot of carbs and more carbs. That's all that sounds good. And eating out almost all the time because I don't want to cook one thing. Nothing.
Let me just put this out there: I want to feel healthy and strong again! I'll even take not having loads of energy (my before normal state) to this. Because I have been sick I haven't worked out for almost a month. It makes me feel like a big fat balloon, not to mention I am really bloated most of the time. Add to it, I've gotten the queasies from mid afternoon until early evening.
Emotionally: When I went to visit my psychiatrist we decided to stick w/ the low dose of med and see what other Dr.'s say. Since then, about 3 days ago, I decided to up my medicine myself. I rationalized that since I was feeling so crappy physically, I just didn't want to feel that crappy emotionally. Well, one thing I forgot whenever you adjust meds is that it takes time....and you feel worse before you feel better. I have had mild headaches and really blah all over. My plan--I'll just keep same dose and see how goes in next few days.
Sometimes I say this when I am kidding, but I am not now....I am sick of it!! I feel like crap in my body and mind, I look like crap because I am gaining weight. My chest hurts, nothing fits, and I don't like much.
How's all this for a happy Friday.
Just not sure what to do about all of it. How I am managing now is to barely get myself to work and come home and lay on this sofa.
I had that exact same horrible "must drink now or I'll dry up and blow away" feeling all the time while I was pregnant. I also had access to a glucometer and test strips, and never once was my blood sugar high when I felt like that. I think it's just part of being knocked up! :) Hope that holds true for you.
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