Another Surprise

I just returned from my IVF monitoring appointment and learned of a great surprise. Over the last two monitoring appointments my right ovary was responding well i.e. 4 follicles, and the left one was so-so i.e. 1 follicle, so total of 5. I was starting to get a bit worried because starting out w/ only 5 follicles, likely not all with eggs, likely quality issues....well, I was the doing the math. When she first started the scan today she actually couldn't find the one on my left ovary. I started thinking during the scan today aw man, I wonder if they will have to cancel?

But guess what?  Because she was having trouble, she had the Dr. come in and right away the Dr. found them....a few seconds later the coordinator starts counting....one, two, three.....seven! There are actually seven measurable follicles on the left for a total of 11 all together. That's close to what I had during the round for my son.  Now, the ones on the left are a bit smaller i.e. 16/17, etc and there are two on the right that are 20 and 21....and they want them all to be pretty consistent in size. 
I have no idea why they were hard to find for the coordinator, but at least the Dr. came in today to take a look herself. It's not my main Dr. in the office, but she runs the IVF group and all of the protocols. Since she was there I asked her how she thought all of this was going and she said I was responding better than she thought I would. Alrighty then. She's the same Dr. that when I started exploring IVF mid last year she started off with, "Tell me what you want to hear".  Can't say I'm connected with her well, but she won't be doing the retrieval anyway.

Next steps:
I need to wait until my labs are in and they look at the whole picture to decide, instructions will be on my portal tonight. It's possible if I trigger tonight then I will have retrieval on Sunday at the earliest. I'm ready for the stimulation to be done, as now that it has been 10 days, my ovaries are feeling quite full and starting to be uncomfortable.  I'm also on a steroid which makes me flush/hot on/off throughout the day...could also be the other medications.
This protocol hasn't been overly difficult and I've handled the medications really really well this time. I've actually felt good throughout, so that has been such a nice surprise. I'm taking men.opur 225 (injection), gon.al 150 (injection), cl.omid 2 pills daily, dexa.methasone steriod 1 pill daily, and since I have a few bigger follicles and trying to get others to catch up I started cet.rodtide .25 (injection).  I'm also on supplements--pre.natal vitamin, Co.Q.10 (600), methyl.folate.
When I type it out, it kind of seems like a lot, doesn't it.

Im still just processing this as.....will take it step by step and see how it goes. I'm not putting too much thought into the what if's because a) that doesn't help and b) the outcome is the outcome.
Again I go back to, I felt so so strongly about doing this that it just wouldn't leave my consciousness. I tried a lot of things to distract me (whole house remodel that I need to still put up the pictures), and I kept coming back to this. So, I am content in following my heart right now.

A few other good things I met w/ my therapist again yesterday and she really is sharp. She is insightful, challenging, can keep up w/ my stream of thoughts, etc.. Our main focus right now is to work on my sleep. Sleep has been a nemesis of mine for many years...at least 10+.  Part of it may be physical i.e. mild ap.nea, however a lot of it has to do w/ my sleep hygiene. I drink caffeine diet soda at lunch, it disrupts my ability to naturally fall asleep, keeps me awake longer, and quality of sleep is affected. Honestly I need to just quit. But that's hard to do /w addictions, isn't it? I've tried several things in past (like drinking only caffeine free) and have always fallen off, but she's helping me frame that as--trying is success, even if the behavior wasn't changed. My thinking it's more like, success only comes if behavior is changed.
The approach now is that I will remain caffeine free for 5 of 7 days in a week.  I wanted a back up 2 days because I didn't want to have a moment and feel like I failed.
I think this is reasonable. Honestly I may get to a place where the decision has to be none at all.....because it is such a slippery slope for me. Having one turns into having one the next day, and so on such that its habit again.

The other thing is sometimes I don't always sleep in my bed. I've been falling asleep in the recliner, sleeping on the couch, etc.. and I just am not sure why? Perhaps because my room became a place to work rather than sleep, I prefer being away from it?
So, I'm supposed to go to bed by 11:30 every night.  This is a hard one. Mostly because my 'me time' is after the kids go to bed. I can just sit out here, decompress, and I find that this is the time I recharge myself. The kids have been sleeping by 830-ish so you would think 3 hours is enough?!
I actually think if I drop the caffeine this one would be much easier because I'll actually be tired!

A lot of my issue is I spend way too much time thinking about this stuff and not actually doing. It's time to change that. More to come.