Is there something in the air...still the time change, maybe?

Lord. Have. Mercy.  I wonder how many posts I've started w/ these words.  These last few weeks have been some of the toughest yet. My children aren't sleeping, have been sick, my cat's been sick, and I need to find a new nanny and a new home in my old city.

Let's start w/ my girl. She had the most epic tantrum of her life the other morning. Lasted from 8:30am to 9:15am. Full on screaming/crying/flailing/not able to even listen/spitting/hitting/kicking....you name it. And nothing at all would work to calm her down. Nothing. It started so innocently too. I was sitting in the rocking chair w/ the baby and she decided she wanted to sit there by herself. I said no.  That did it........it was all downhill from there. She yelled 'mommy you go', 'go away' over and over. I used a calm voice the entire time I was so proud of myself....wait a minute, I did yell once when I had to go back to her room and she continued to kick me while I was trying to put a new diaper on her because she had taken hers off and peed on the floor. I have no idea what's gotten into her because the tantrums have been almost one a day. And it can be over nothing. I want water!! Ok, and I give her water. Then she decides no, she wants milk. I say 'I already gave you water'.....cue meltdown.  Perhaps all of this is because she is two and a half, but lord have mercy.
Parenting her is really hard right now.  She changes her mind, says no a lot, meltsdown, doesn't want snuggle wuggle time as much (this one is hard for me, boo). I started to have thoughts about whether our relationship will continue this way.....will she continue to have sparks of defiance and willfullness to not do what I ask her to do?  If I rewind to the beginning, she wasn't a snuggly baby, would rather be in her rocker, whined and still does, has been independent from the get-go. I have said outloud a few times I wonder if she even needs me? So strange to say but she's never been one of those kids to cling to me for dear life--well, she did that once on her second birthday.  I'm not saying I want a needy kid....my baby's feisty and I think that's a good trait. However, it would be nice to just feel her needing me and want to be affectionate/hug and cuddle more.
She's really funny, though, because she will also show signs of being very in tune to my emotions...for example the other day after I said AGH about something and she said, "Mommy, are you frustrated?"...she used those words. Think she learned them from a a show. I told her I was.  Also, if I've yelled or after she throws a tantrum and calms down she'll come and say "Sorry I mad" (sorry I made you mad)....or something to that effect and apologizes, unprompted. I always tell her I am not mad at her but I didn't like her behavior.
She also surprises me by some of the things she is learning....as an example we were playing w/ the cat and I was showing her his teeth. I said, 'look how big his teeth are?'.....and she said 'I have small teeth'.  We were walking through the kitchen today, she looks down at the floor tile and says, 'square'!. Yes, indeed.

Let's face it, she's not an easy kid.  I know she'll continue to give me challenges. What I need to make sure of is that I continue to find ways to let her know and show her that I love her. I tell her regularly and try to hug/snuggle her when she lets me, etc.

Now my son, he seems to get the short end of the stick when it comes to this blog because I sometimes focus on my challenging girl.  He's had some major milestones.....He has started 'talking', rather squealing. I can't handle how cute it is.....he tries to make a sound, tenses his whole body up, and screeches kind of.  And he still smiles sooo much. It is just great to walk in the room in the morning to have that face smiling up at me everyday. I barely have to catch his eye and he starts smiling.
He is becoming a big boy. I had him at the Dr. today and he weighs 18lbs 13oz at 5.5 months old. I took him because we have started to have trouble w/ his eating and sleeping again. It is much like it was when he was a newborn. Up every 2-3 hours at night. I've had him to the Dr. twice and she thinks it is reflux bothering him again. She is not that worried because he is still gaining weight and really it's just a matter of time. This past week we tried the cereal to see if it would help and then the z.ant.ac. Neither seem to make a dent in him flailing his arms after a certain point w/ his bottle and fighting it.  Dr. says it will just take time. Jeepers I thought we were over that phase!
And guess what.......the Dr. saw upper teeth buds!! I had no idea they were there and when the Dr. shined her flashlight on his gums I saw....it was exciting! Normally the bottom come in first so not sure which ones will make their debut, but we will see. He was so charming at the office w/ his smiles and screeching and humming and flailing his limbs.

I had to take a break to go feed my son and am back now.

I am working on finding us a place to live in my old city. My house I kept from the move over here has tenants and their lease doesn't end until April 30 and they want to sign another year's lease.  I've decided that I want to try the suburbs but haven't found a place to buy so I am going to rent a house...I think. I am negotiating w/ landlord now.

Nanny search. This is probably the toughest part about moving. It is such a big deal to me to find the right person so I can have peace of mind when I go to work everyday. I am on a website and have networked w/ friends, etc. Nothing popped up yet and several I've contacted say they've just accepted positions. Jeepers.

Lots to do as I start my new job April 1st. Oh boy!!