Good News

Since having baby girl (BG) and coming home, things have really gone in a positive direction.  I don't know if it's luck, per se, but I have been blessed w/ a really good, calm baby.

Update on baby girl (BG): She weighed 5lbs 14 oz when born and 17 inches long.  When I brought her home she weighed 5lbs 8 oz. On Tuesday we went to her second Dr. appointment and she is back up to almost 6 lbs--yay! I actually think I can tell because her cheeks are filling out a bit and so are her arms/legs.  This coming Saturday will be two weeks since we've been home. As for feedings: I really would like to nurse her directly, but because we needed to work on gaining weight, I nurse once/twice a day, and give her a bottle the other times.  She also falls asleep when i nurse her, so perhaps lactation consultant in our future.  I am doing a mixture of formula and breast milk which seems to be working pretty well.  She eats every 2-3 hours and I'm trying to get her to nap in her crib rather than mama's arms!

Birth Story: This will have to come later because there are a lot of details. But, suffice to say it came quick, 5 weeks early, broken water at 1:30am, c-section, recovery, NICU for baby, we both came home together after 5 days in hospital.

Me: HORMONES! the first week was really up and down.  I cried a lot.  I cried when thinking about her. I cried when we were getting ready to go home from hospital. I cried once home-- a lot.  Now that I am past 2 weeks of recovery, it is getting much better. I feel much more centered and calm. 
Here is what is amazing: I have actually lost all the baby weight and weigh 2 lbs less than when I first got pregnant!!!!!  All that in just over two weeks!  I asked the Dr. if that was normal/okay and she said yes and I should keep it going.  I have more to lose for my health, so I will stay on this breast feeding 'diet' as long as I can!  you can really tell in my face.....and the swelling in my body is finally going down. I can see my feet again, with no cankles.
The only recovery snafu is that my incision opened up last Thursday (been about a week of healing now). I woke up to blood all over my pajamas--it looked like I had been stabbed. I initially panicked until I realized what had happened.  I have had to irrigate it and pack it w/ gauze 3 times a day.  Been to Dr. twice and she said it looks really good, and I haven't gotten an infection! YAY!  Also, the right side of my incision is really really hard. I asked the Dr. about that and she said it is keloid (scar tissue). Sometimes your body does that when healing. She said I can massage it and hopefully it will soften over time.  It does pull on my insides so I do hope that it gets better over time.

Things w/ baby have been going really well.  Aside from getting up multiple times a night and feeling quite tired in the mornings, I feel like I have adjusted quite well.  I have tried to think through my feelings about being a mother, developing a bond, the change in my life, etc.... and I just don't have the words yet.  Overall it is good, I have no regrets. None.  I know that I love her to pieces....I kind of feel like the more time we spend together and interact, the more we get bonded.  The most coolest, amazing thing did happen in the hospital....she knows me.  When I first was wheeled into the NICU and up to her incubator I started speaking and she literally opened her eyes and turned her head towards me.  It brings me to tears just typing it out now.  It was just an amazing experience.

What I do worry about is getting a lot of things in order like guardianship/my will, part time nanny care, back up emergency care. I want to be sure all of these things are in place for her.  I have struggled w/ figuring out the best environment for her (and hopefully will never have to worry about it) but will figure it out.

Time management has become the most challenging thing.  I try to cram in everything I can while she is sleeping, and sometimes feel like I still don't get much accomplished.  Honestly if I do 1-2 things a day it is a success.  I made a list of things I need to do and that has helped me focus on ticking things off, rather than mentally spinning them around in my mind constantly worrying I need to get them done.

Overall, things have been going quite well and I just keep learning more and more.
Oh, and the best part about this....I do believe she looks much like me! Can't be happier about that.
Also, I can't fail to mention that I have some of the most amazing friends....because she came early my friends got together and fixed up the nursery, got all the supplies I didn't have, and have come to visit and made sure I have support needed.....so blessed.