This would be funny if......

It wasn't all true!

Let's back up....last weekend we went to my nanny's daughter's communion and had a good time. However, this past Tuesday baby girl started coughing, runny nose, etc.. She got a really bad cold--and unfortunately Thursday morning my throat got scratchy and I figured oh boy, here it comes. Well, Friday was pretty miserable w/ stuffy nose, etc. so after baby girl went to bed I did too.  Saturday, yesterday, we went to a farmer's market in the morning despite both of us not feeling well. Wanted to just get out of the house.  Then that afternoon we both napped on and off.
Another key fact is baby girl has not had a poopy diaper since last weekend. Yes, I fed her some pieces of raisin bread, etc. and while she wanted it and ate it, clearly her system was not ready for it.  (mama feels terrible about this).

Brings us to today--we are both still sick.  I woke up still feeling crappy...I think I have an ear infection too...ears have really been stuffy, feel achy, nose still running, coughing, chest is tight....good ole fashioned bad cold. Baby girl is also still sick w/ a runny nose and coughing/sneezing.

After she woke up this morning around 7am...as soon as I picked her up I felt something in her diaper--felt like a brick.  Well I changed her and she had 'nuggets' of poop. There was one that was so big, I can't even imagine how she passed it!  I was relieved to see, though, because I was starting to worry it had been a whole week already.

I put her in her cradle and gave her a bottle.  After we both napped around 8:30am, she woke up and I smelled something. She had more 'nuggets', so changed her again.

I still wasn't feeling well so we played inside--well, she played, and I laid on the floor.  Then, I put her down for another nap at 11:00am since she was pretty tired still.  About an hour later she woke up and guess what.....you guessed it....a THIRD poopy diaper w/ MORE 'nuggets'!  Poor baby.

By now it is later afternoon and I'm trying desperately to find things to entertain her so I can somehow rest between all of this. Jumpy thing, spatula, toys on the floor...and I look over at my cat....his stomach is starting to lurch, his tongue is hanging out.....and VOMIT all over my carpet. I chase him off my light colored carpet and he vomits about 3 more times in the other room.

I go to clean that up the bazillion piles of vomit, then go back to baby.....I pick her up and I smell something.....again!  A FOURTH POOPY DIAPER!  This time....no nice, neat little nuggets......it went all....the way...up.....her back! I couldn't believe it.  I tried to get her out of her jammies and poop is just everywhere.  All over her jammies, all over her.  I quickly say to heck w/ it I need to rinse her off and have the bright idea to put her in the bathroom sink since it needed to be quick.

Well, she was sooo slippery that I lost grip of her and she bonked her head on the faucet--starts crying.  She now has a nice mark on her forehead and cheek.

THEN I go to clean up the poopy mess in her room....take all the laundry into the laundry room......

And the cat had pooped and stunk up the entire laundry room.

So to recap for everyone....mama is sick....baby still sick and pooped once, twice, three, and four times, cat vomits, baby bonks her head, and cat poops too.

Seriously.

At this point all I can do is just throw my hands up....say uncle. Even though I feel like crap I gather up baby girl and we go to the pet store. I was sweating and probably looked crazed, but she at least was entertained by the people and things in the store.

Got the catfood that I think will help w/ the vomiting, head home....do bath, bottle, bed.

Whew.

What a stinkin' tough day. Pun intended.

Here's what we did Saturday night to help w/ poor baby's constipation....yummy.....prunes.  I put a few spoonfuls onto her tray and let her have at it.  Why not.
I'd say the prunes worked.

Update and Thoughts

So I did end up going to the Dr.. I honestly was just so fatigued I figured it was a good idea to get some blood work done to see if anything awry.....and Nope.  Everything tested w/in normal limits--CBC, thyroid, etc.. There is one exception.....I had a vit.am.in B shot prior to that appointment, so if my Vit.am.in B was off, that wouldn't have shown up.

The good news is, I finally feel better.  I used to get the shots a few years ago and the way they helped was drastic....like I had stamina again that I hadn't had in ages.  Well, over time they do wear off, so several months ago I decided to try them again.  Well, I tried 2 different places and the shots didn't help.  The make-up of the shots can be different depending on which compounding pharmacy they get them from.  Anyway, I decided to try one last time and found this place--and wouldn't you know I think they are working again. Good news for me, at least for the time being.

As for my 8 1/2 month old.....oh boy.

--she learned how to give kisses. Like lean in open mouth kisses.  And she can do it if I ask her to...i.e. she understands a command! That is the first one.....and what a one for it to be! The coolest thing--I was holding her as I was walking from my bedroom out to the living room and unsolicited she leaned in a gave me a kiss.  It melted me.
--She's into throwing and kicking things now.  She wants to see what happens to it so she shakes things and flaps her arms all the time. Watch out.
--She wears size 4 diapers.
--She discovered her fingers now....not just her hands. She will stare at her hand and move one finger at a time and watch.
--she is still extremely tactile...she wants to touch everything.
--she can drink out of a cup!!  Maybe the nanny worked w/ her on this but she seemed so interested in what i was drinking that I put the cup up to her mouth and she leaned in and drank some.
--she likes to eat everything. She's on level 2 now and eats turkey/rice dinners--still pureed, also the bananas (real and pureed), real grapes, piece of raisin bread, nanny fed her end of a che.eto, all the baby foods like pears, carrots, mixed veggies, apples, etc..  I try different table foods because she is so interested. Tiny tiny pieces of different breads, etc.  She eats it all.
--Her hearing is super-sensitive. Any little noise she pays attention to and wants to know what it is.
--she can flip over from back to front, front to back....but still has a hard time when on her belly figuring out how to flip back over. She gets stuck and cries.
--she still whines.
--She gives me the biggest welcome home everyday. When I come in and she sees me, the recognition crosses her face and she gets this BIG ole smile, flaps her arms, and sometimes screams.
--she is communicating even though no language.  I'll be feeding her a banana....she finishes a bite and I ask her if she wants more? Grunts...I give her more. I put her on ground, she doesn't like sometimes and grunts to be picked back up. I know this is basic, but I guess I didn't put two and two that she is in essence telling me what she wants in whines, cries, and grunts. I just have to figure it out! That's clearly the hard part.
--she is getting heavy. We have her 9 month shots coming up so I will see.
--she is still very friendly.


We went to our nanny's daughter's first communion this past Saturday and it was a good experience for baby girl. Not been to church (and frankly don't think will go regularly) but there were so many new people and new hings to see. Then we went to a party at my nanny's house afterwards and she was handed all around. She loved it. Especially the men because of their rough faces....she would constantly put her hands on their cheeks. And, she will be bilingual. Our nanny speaks to her mostly in spanish and she understands spanish command to kiss as well as the english one.  So cool!
She was all dressed up......so cute.


As an aside, I think I am sure I'd like to try to another baby. I am thinking in October. That is only 6 months away. Wow.

Tough

I am starting to wonder if there is something going on here....I am flat out exhausted.  More fatigued, than anything.  It's not like I am yawning tired....I am body doesn't want to move, tired.  No matter how much rest I seem to get, I can't seem to get on top of it.  Like right now I am molded to this recliner, and simply don't want to move. Happy to surf the internet for hours--or just stare at the tv. And yesterday was actually pretty good for rest because baby and I took 3 separate naps--1 hr, 2 hrs, then 30 minutes.
Here's the thing.....I did my work from home today instead of Wednesday because of how brutally tired I was this morning.  I logged into my work computer and rested until 11am (nanny got here at 7:30), then drove to realtors to sign my amended house contract, went to a drop in day care--which I'll mention next--had some lunch, and came home to spend the rest of the day on my bed until 5pm. 
I haven't been sleeping the greatest....for the first time in my life have had some pretty awful/chasing dreams and when I opened my eyes I didn't know if I was awake, or sleeping. For real. I touched my phone....moved my foot....yup awake. Super creepy.

So I just am not sure.  Maybe this is just what being a single mom is like.  It just seems to be harder and infinitely more tiring these last 2 weeks, so I just don't really know.  She isn't even mobile yet...on the verge, for sure. That's when everyone says get ready. Oh boy. 

I just don't know what I should do......is depression creeping in masking as tiredness?  Am I coming down with something?  Should I go to the Dr. and maybe have a panel done or something?  I haven't been seeing counselor...need a new one....maybe i should look into that? Gosh, when would I fit that in...?
Physical...mental....both.....or just single mother?
Any ideas?

About the drop in day care.....I checked it out because nanny can't be here this Friday--that's a separate story I don't have the energy to type out write now--started, then just said forget it.  Even my writing is tired.
Anyway, a friend at work recommended it.  Maybe I don't know what 'center care' looks and feels like because I have a nanny, but i walked in and when I peeked in the baby room I said no way in heck would I bring her there.  There was a baby face-planted in a tub of balls, there was one baby trying to nap in an institutional crib, another just sitting in a bouncy, another sitting on the floor....like 8 babies everywhere and 2 adults in the room 'watching' them all.  I hear that is actually legally okay....but it just felt like a baby could wait a long time before being tended to, and I'm sure the loudest ones get attention.
I just got so anxious thinking about leaving my girl there that I knew for sure I would not bring here there.
Then I asked a friend at work and she seemed to think that it didn't sound that bad....her daughter has been going to daycare since she was itty bitty. She said that there obviously isn't the one on one attention and there will be babies in swings and bouncy seats, etc...I suppose that's true....but why did I have such a harsh reaction?

I don't know....

At least I got out w/ baby at the park on Saturday. It was a gorgeous day here and my punkin' and I got out on the blanket......it was really nice/fun.  No matter how tired I get--for whatever reason....I love this kid w/ all my heart.

New Things

Someone had grapes for the first time (I peeled off skin and gave her itty bitty pieces).......and was in her booster seat for the first time.

I think she liked it!!

And look at those curls just a growin'!

I had debated last night about getting her a high chair....I really didn't have a place to feed her and our nanny uses the jumpy. It's okay until food gets all over the cloth.  So, I researched different models, fancy doodads on them, and finally stumbled upon a booster instead of a highchair on a shopping website that has over 1,000 reviews and 4+ stars--and wouldn't you know I had already gotten it as a gift.  Who knew the treasure I had sitting her closet!!
Pros are that it doesn't take up space (not really an issue here), it has 3 settings for the height and the tray, it straps to any chair w/ a back, there is a tray lid, and it should be easy clean.

We HAD to try it out and I think it will work just fine for us.

Problem solved and saved me some dough.

Mama...is....tired

I think I am stumbling upon that single mom exhaustion.  I have had bouts of exhaustion over the last 8 months, but lately it has been more constant. I keep asking myself why am I so tired...gosh I'm tired...boy I just want to take a nap for 2 days.  But for some reason no matter how much rest I get it doesnt' seem to be enough.  I think the simple answer is...yes, it is exhausting to be a mother, let alone a single mother. 

Somehow I don't give myself credit for what I am doing on a day to day basis all by myself.  A lot of people who are parents say, "Wow, just don't know how you do it by yourself".  And my answer is, I just do. I don't have the luxury of having another set of hands, nor even know what that is like on a regular basis. Also, not to have family around to have her spend the night to give me a break.  I've spent one night away from her in 8 months.  Lately, I think just the combination of her teething, SO much whining, sometimes constipation, constant attention needed, more actively watching what she is doing, waking up more at night from being in the crib now......that it is just harder right now.  And I know I have more coming when she is actually mobile.

I'm sitting here in my recliner just fatigued. I could stare at a wall for awhile and that would be just fine.

That's about all I can muster.  Oh, and I am buying an investment property through all of this. All of the inspections are Thursday.  I've thought about this for quite some time, and when I was talking to my realtor a few weeks ago when my sister was here she let me know about a property that couldn't be more perfect....well, I suppose if it had a lower price it would. But, it's in a fantastic area and is a house and garage apartment.  My ideal is that my sister decides to move down here...I rent the house to her, and there is a long term tenant in the garage apartment that would stay.
The house is seriously cute--and old 1920's bungalow that was updated. I'm kinda bummed I don't get to move in. Well, not totally. It's half the size of my current home.

As if just being a mom and working full time wasn't enough.....now I can add landlord.

Crib Conclusion......And.......

So the crib.  Well, our first night on Friday wasn't too bad after all.  However, because it was a new place to sleep she was up at 8:30, 9:30, 2:30 and 6:30am. That is 2-3 more times than usual. And if I didn't think I was tired before.
So yesterday we played, ran to store, and watched some basketball. Then it was time for bed and I did the same routine.....she fussed a bit more before falling asleep, but once she was asleep, she only woke up once until 7:00am this morning.

Great progress!!

Although today she was soooo uber-fussy. She woke up tired of all things.....she kept rubbing her eyes, whined--OH SHE WHINED today. She took a few naps--even one in the crib. It went fine until her leg got stuck in the slats and she was not happy at all. (We went out today and bought a breathable mesh bumper).

I finally figured out why I think she was even more fussy than usual.

SHE HAS ANOTHER TOOTH!!!

You can barely see the nubs in this picture, but you can really feel them.

She has had such a big March month:
--She slept through the night
--She learned to roll over from back to tummy
--She got her first tooth
--She can now sit up on her own--unassisted
And now she has another tooth.....

Her next thing will be crawling. She turns herself over and spreads out all 4's balancing on her tummy--and just cries. She can push all the way up, but can't get her legs figured out yet. She scoots backwards...mostly because she gets mad and pushes harder.

Here she is....such a big girl.

Crib

I am soooo anxious right now. My chest feels tight, I am walking on tippy toes, I have a slight tension in my forehead, I am breathing shallow.....I think this is hard for mama at the moment. 

Why am I feeling this way? I just put baby girl down in her crib to sleep for the first time since she was a newborn. 

That's it, you might say? Yes, it is.

I have had a couple friends tell me it is time.....and of course I know it.....but I just worry about her waking at night, not being next to me, spitting up from lying flat, worrying that she might associate crib w/ play time, she will be cold at night, worrying about having a blanket in the crib,  etc....that it stresses me out so much. Our routine was working really well and part of me doesn't want to mess it up.  But she clearly is getting bigger and longer that her feet hang off the cradle.  And when my friend was here yesterday I mentioned that she slept in the cradle, she took one look at the cradle and said "That!"--pointing to it. I meekly said yes.  She said, "Girl you have got to get that kid in her crib. She needs to move around. She needs room."

Yes, she does.

So, we started out doing our night time routine around 6pm.  We do bath for about 20-30 minutes...she loves! the bath.  Then we do 'jammies', then bottle, then bed.  Well what we used to do was I would put her in the cradle in front of me while I am in the recliner...I would rock it w/ my foot for awhile. Sometimes she feel asleep, sometimes not.  Up until a few weeks ago I would keep her out here until she feel asleep, then I would pick up the whole cradle and take it back to my bedroom. Lately I've decided she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own so I would take the cradle back at 7pm and much to my surprise she would calm down on her own if still awake and fall asleep. She would do so by talking to herself, screeching, and just making noise until she got tired.

Anyway, tonight after I gave bath and put on her jammies I said OK, I can do this.  I put her in the crib and started baby proofing it.  I realized just now that her crib side was down, so I lifted it up.  Since she only played in there it really didn't matter.  But I didn't want her to somehow figuring out how to fall out on her first night.  Then she had two mobiles on her crib I took down. She can still reach them because mattress is on highest setting.  Then she had some sticky butterflies on the wall and I didn't want them to all of a sudden fall off into her crib and she choke on them, so I put them on the other wall.  Then, she had some soft playthings in her crib and I took out all but her teddybear. Whew. Think I got everything.

Then we came out and I put her in the recliner while I fed the cats then made her a bottle.  We sat in my chair and I fed her the bottle....she didn't want the whole thing and started squirling around in my lap so I decided it was time.  TIME for the crib!

My plan was to do exactly like we do if she were to go into the cradle....so, I just walked her in there and put her down, covered her a blanket, and said, "time for night-night". This is what I tell her every night when she gets put down to sleep.

Then I turned and walked out of the room.

At first it was pretty quiet...I didn't think it could be that easy, so I kept listening hard.  Then she started her vocal cord routine.  Then quiet again.  Could it be that easy?  Nope, I started to hear a cough, then sort of a choke and I ran in there.  She was fine.  After seeing me she started whining and I said, "It's okay. Time for night-night".  I ran my hand across her head, covered her back up, then walked out of her room. After I came back out she started to cry just a bit, but it didn't really turn into anything and she quieted down.

I've been sitting in my recliner for a total of 20 minutes since I checked on her. Listening as hard as I can for her to cry, be upset....whatever.

It

Is

Now/

Quiet.

She's asleep.


I just can't believe it.  She's asleep. And she didn't even really CRY!!

I don't know what tonight holds but I'm really hopeful that being in her room w/out my noises to wake her will help her sleep better.

Let's just pray it is this easy.  I am taking a deep breath and exhaling......whew.
I couldn't help it...I snuck in her room and took this picture.

Update: 8:33pm.  She started fussing a bit....my anxiety kicked up. She only fussed for a minute or so,  so I let her settle back down and then checked in on her. She looked comfortable, but she had the blanket over her face. She does this sometimes in her cradle---of course I worry about it. So I just pulled it down around her and she is back to sleep again.