Boom. My mom can fix anything!

Over the years I’ve gotten pretty creative and able to fix a lot of things….bike chains that have fallen off, broken light bulbs stuck in sockets, toys, something cut that wasn’t supposed to be cut.  I’m pretty proud of myself for just digging in, even if I have no idea what I’m doing.  Because it’s either me, OR I pay someone else to do it.

 This past weekend my son had a friend over, Ata, and they were playing with the marble run (such a great toy that they still play with) and two pieces were stuck together. My son tried his best to break them apart, even getting out a fork and knife to make it work.  I was in my girl’s room folding clothes when he comes in and asks if I can fix it.  How often I hear, “Mom! Can you fix this?!” I was able to take the two pieces and with some strength and fingernail pry them apart. My son happily runs out of the room shouting to his friend, “Boom. My mom can fix anything!” My heart burst with pride.  Having my kids think that of me just makes me feel great. Maybe even deeper than that, they can rely on my for whatever they need, and even deeper than that….they aren’t missing a Dad who maybe would be the one to do those things.

Ha….my girl is home sick today and as I’m typing this message at my laptop at the dining room table, she comes in and says, ‘Mom, can you help me?’….she had somehow gotten her milkshake spilled underneath her ipad screen. So, there I went disassembling the case (which is no small task), we clean up all the liquid, crumbs, dust and just yuck that accumulates….put it back together, good as new! Whenever I am able to do something or fix something for them I say, “Who’s the best mom everrrrr?!” and of course they say , “YOU!”.  I’m learning parenting joys are all about these little things.

And little my kids are not. They are now growing that my girl is 10 and likely 5 ft tall by now and weighs 100 lbs. My son is 8, well over 4ft tall and last we checked weighs 75 or 77 lbs. I just got a text from a long time friend who’s girls I grew up with….I was telling her all about both kids playing basketball and how I remembered when I played sports my mom sat on the bottom bleacher at every game, and I’m going to do the same for my kids. She says, enjoy it, it really goes fast. It does.  I’m going to have a middle schooler/junior high kid this fall. Just NO! Yes….but no!

 We went to the junior high for an orientation a few weeks back. I’m not going to lie, after we first walked in and sat down, I wanted to cry. I was just a bit overwhelmed. We took my girl and her friend Parker. The school is massive, as most schools are here…it was likely bigger than my entire school that I went to growing up where we had K-12 at one school. I had 33 kids in my senior class if that tells you how small of a town and school I grew up in. My town only had 800 people, no stop signs, and no grocery stores. We had to drive 20 minutes to the nearest everything. We had 1 gas station with a convenience store attached.

Of course I’m used to the size here now…my son’s class has 6 2^nd grade classrooms…say 22 each, that’s 130 kids for just second grade. I think our school K-5^th has just over 800 kids and that’s only elementary. And supposedly we are one of the smaller campuses.  I can say I haven’t loved our school….I don’t hate it, but don’t love it. That’s likely another post. I always have envy because we have another elementary just a few miles away from ours that parents rave about whenever I ask them about it.  We just aren’t zoned to it, even though we are close to both. In order to go to the other school we would have had to move, and that just hasn’t seemed reasonable the last several years. I really like our cul de sac and we’ve built up some good relationships with the neighbors and other kids in the neighborhood. Both of my kids have good friend groups. But, I still wonder how different things might have been for us. And now, it’s too late for my girl. She’s finishing up her 5^th grade already.

 Anyway, the orientation itself was good. We got a good idea about class selection, and what I did like was they require a fine arts selection…it must be in theater, art, choir, band, or orchestra. My daughter is sooo excited about theater, she put that as her first selection. She wants to work on backstage designs, etc.. The thing is, she’s always been interested in art, but is adamant that she wants theater. So, I let her make that her first choice.  We’ll find out in August what her schedule will be.  I looked around at the teacher population that was there….it was mixed in age, and the science teacher had purple hair. It seems the principal is brand new this year, so will see how that goes. They also will have a week long ‘camp’ for incoming 6^th graders in August which I think is excellent.  And also, tomorrow they are taking the girls from her 6^th grade school over to do a site visit for a few hours to tour more of the campus. I’m not exactly sure why they are splitting by gender, but there must be a reason. I think the good news is, my girl seems excited. That’s probably the best outcome of all this so far…..she’s excited.

And, other than her sickness just these past few days, she’s actually been “knock on wood” pretty healthy since beginning of December. We’ve had a really good run of her feeling better, sleeping better, and her behavior has gotten SO much better.  We haven’t had nearly the issues like we’ve had in the past. She is hugging and kissing on me a lot more.  Of course there are still challenges in that her and her brother bicker all. The. Time……but I’ll take that any day over the struggles we’ve had in the past. She also still shows some signs of anxiety when we go to stores, public, etc….but those are limited times, and specific to situations.  It wasn’t that long ago we were dealing with issues every single night, so things have really really improved and I can’t be more thankful. I can only hope that continues.

 What goes up must come down, right?  Well, as my daughter’s situation has improved a lot, my son’s on the other hand has completely taken a nose dive.

 I think what kicked his issues off is right at Christmas break my son was fitted with an orthodontic expander. As I mentioned, it is fitted to both sides of his upper mouth and metal goes between both, but not all the way to the roof of his mouth.  He hasn’t ever complained that it hurt, so it didn’t occur to me it could be bothering him. I just noticed his behavior was increasingly irritable.  He became a lot more short-tempered, shouting a bit more, etc.. And the way the expander works is after it was installed for a month, we started putting a little ‘key’ into a hole in the device, and turning it one turn every night for 25 nights. I think we are on night 17 tonight. Those turns essentially make his upper mouth ‘expand’ by pushing it against his teeth. Then, he’ll leave it on expanded for another 7 months, for a total wear time of 9 months.  I’m not in love w/ it in the fact that he’s had a hard time eating with it, has choked a few times, he doesn’t like to swallow so his spit collects and I have to remind him to swallow, and it affects his speech. As a parent, I question myself sometimes in these things….like getting braces for my girl, and doing this expander for my son. In theory it makes sense, but I’m just struggling w/ how rough it has been since we started the process.

 Not only the irritability, but he’s just been soooo sassy. He’s been backtalking a ton, arguing—as an example I’ll say please take out the recycle. He’ll tell me it’s not his turn, ask me what his sister is doing?, trying to see if it’s ‘fair’, etc..and it takes a minute or two to get him to do it.  This is a big change because in the past, he would say ‘ok’, and just do it. He’s mostly been a compliant child and it doesn’t take much to discipline him. I got so frustrated with him the other day that I actually shouted at him. I can’t remember too many times I’ve had to do that. The biggest issue is he hears me, but just doesn’t do what I ask. For example, hey son, please get ready for bed. Next thing I know he’s wandered off, found something to mess with, and is not getting himself ready for bed at all. Then I’ll remind him, and so it goes. I think the thing is, he’s like silently protesting. He knows what he needs to do, he just plain doesn’t want to do it. A friend of mind recently said he’s also likely going through a new ‘stage’ and that hadn’t occurred to me either. And yes, he probably is….he’s 8 now and of course he’ll start going through some things…I just wasn’t ready or aware, I guess.

 The one that I struggle with a lot is that he is also quietly provoking his sister. It’s likely he’s always been this way, I just didn’t notice too much his tactic because the louder one (my girl) usually was my focus.  She’s a screamer, you’ll know what she’s up to. But him…..he’s just quiet about it, with a little smirk to go with it. For example, like getting near to his sister, she says get away, he doesn’t move knowing it will irritate her. And just not moving until it escalates.

He’s also been throwing things, shouting, and frankly just been miserable.  I keep saying he’s been a bear. Not a whole lot of fun to be around these days.

If this is a phase, I sure hope he moves through it quicker. It’s exhausting.

 My girl has picked up on it a lot too in that she says, ‘Sorry mom he’s being mean to you’. She genuinely feels bad for me. I tell her that of course that’s for me to handle and to please not worry. We’ve also had conversations that likely that’s what her brother felt like when she was having her issues. I think she’s understanding more about what it’s like to observe and see your sibling acting out. It’s not fun for anyone. The reality is, he’s not being ‘mean’ per se, he’s just extremely fussy, argumentative, and irritable all wrapped up in one. And lucky us, his allergy shots with his new provider start this week. Oy.

 And, we are likely getting a dog to add to the mix.  I’ve done a ton of research, we’ve talked to and emailed a lady who our neighbor used a few years ago, and likely we will be getting a mini goldendoodle. We need hypoallergenic for both my son and I. We need small (well, I want small) and little to no shedding.  The puppy litter was born on my birthday which is great, and will be ready to come home mid march. We have time to get all of the supplies, etc. and come up w/ a plan to make the transition go well. My original plan was to get the new puppy starting end of may so the kids will be out of school, but this litter has just made the most sense for us. It’s one of the few litters that are very small-likely they will be 10-20lbs full grown and that’s all the bigger I want. I haven’t committed 100% to my girl, but I told her it’s possible. It’s not until we actually go pick up the dog that I will say yes, we are doing this. I don’t want to get her hopes up if something falls through. We will see. I’m a bit nervous about this adventure but I think it’s time.

I’m still spending an hour or two every day helping my sister with her client billing, Im looking around at market for jobs, not sure what I really want to do yet—I always keep me eye out so that is nothing new. I’m working on eating at home more and that’s going really well. I think it was a habit that took some time to break….I don’t crave it like I used to. I’ve been eating a lot of soup and sandwiches and I’m feeling better. I’ve also started walking 30 minutes, not everyday, and certainly not when it’s 40 degrees like it is today…but I really like how I feel when I move my body more. After walking I also do a lot of stretching which also is good. I’m noticing things hurt a bit more like my heel, etc. but stretching is always good for me. I also made a list of a bunch of things I need to do for self care and am starting to go down the list—got my annual eye exam which I haven’t done in years….I had lasik in 2006 so my distance is great, but my up close is starting to get worse….sadly. I’m 48 and just this year I started using a pair of readers for my iphone at night. I am now saying to the kids, ‘c’mere and read this for me’. GAH! I had my annual physical and labwork, I’m getting a derma something facial for the first time. My complexion is in need of a boost. I’m going to get my teeth whitened again, I’m getting my tooth implant done this Thursday, then a few months after that they can put the crown on and I’ll be back to a full smile. This one has gone much more smoothly than the upper one, thankfully. I have found that if I have a list that I check off, I feel much more productive and satisfied that I’ve accomplished some things.  I am working on getting a colonoscopy scheduled. It’s been less than 5 years since my last one, but GI issues is something I always worry about because my mom died from a GI carcinoid cancer that metastasized to her liver at 67. The other ‘fun’ thing I’m looking into is getting my eyebrows microbladed. I’ve researched that too and am fascinated. Even though I have light brown hair now (with blonde highlights), my eyebrows are pure white. There is hair there, but you literally can’t see them. My son inherhited them too! He also inherited my green eyes. He really is my mini me. Anyway,  I pencil my brows in when I go to a job, but otherwise I wear no make up at all everyday. I’m the true soccer mom where my daily outfit consists of a kids soccer team shirt, leggings, and a messy bun w/ no make up. I want to see about it. I was supposed to go to my consultation today, but with my girl home sick I will have to reschedule.

 Fun stuff. I’m staying busy with my and my kids’ things and yes, I’m still taking my morning nap. And yes, I still enjoy it, without the self-judgement.