Mom Friends

I really do like typing on a keyboard so much better. I am in need of a new laptop, mine is so old they are no longer supporting the operating system (oops). So, I’ve done a few posts typing into my phone directly onto the blog site, but the screen is so tiny if I want to see all of my words…….basically all that to say I miss the app when it worked. It was so easy to just type and post pics. I just need to get on w/ it and buy a new laptop.

Lots of interesting things I’ve been thinking about lately….making new mom friends, kindergarten in the fall, job stuff, how I’m feeling……where to even begin.

Making new mom friends---I’ve learned that this is sort of like dating. They aren’t always going to work and you have to try a lot out. For some reason I had envisioned that once you had kids you just gravitated towards others w/ kids and you instantly became friends because of it.  That is SO not true. I actually don’t have any mom friends with kids my daughter’s age, and only one mom friend (who I used to work with) that has a son my son’s age…although we see each other maybe once a month.  We did have the family that lived not that far from our house w/ the 4, 2, and baby…..the mom had gone through IVF as well so I thought great, a lot in common.  It was strange, but we just never ‘clicked’. We’d see each other at the park sometimes, or at different events in the area and it was always kind of a hey, how’s it going, what’s going on your house, but never really more than that. Very casual.  I think our biggest disconnection was she was a stay at home mom…..she had her kids in all kinds of things….on those fronts we didn’t connect at all.  And they recently moved out of the neighborhood. It was just weird because I had seen them not that long ago and we were talking about kindergarten, etc..and she said I should let her know if I hear anything about registration, and next thing you know there is a sign on their front yard. Oh well.

And now that I’ve decided I don’t want to move anywhere….I want to just stay put for awhile even if that means going to another company, I need to start trying more to make new friends.

SO, I was so proud of myself because a few months ago I ran into a mom at the park and struck up a conversation w/ her and her husband….she has a daughter going to the same school/kindergarten as my girl. I also remembered her from the pool last summer, she was very pregnant w/ her third. She told me about a lady that was organizing a ‘kinder-crew’ for the kids in the neighbourhood going into kindergarten at our school. I said great! And she forwarded me her email and the organizers email. Well….I emailed both of them back.  I heard nothing from either.  I emailed the organizer a second time just to ask if she was the right person and she at least responded that she was busy, but will include me in any events coming soon. I emailed the mom again too and gave my number…I’m sure the mom w/ the 3 kids has her hands full…not sure she was a stay at home mom, but she seemed so nice so I was disappointed not to hear back again.

I find that I am really envious of the people who still have their best friends from a long time ago, or families that live around each other, and have babies at the same time…..basically built in mom friends. I just had none of that. When I had my girl, all of my friends were from work and they were single too, except one friend had older kids. Of course once you have children things change w/ now having schedules, etc.. And not having my mom around, or really close family there have been times where it’s been really lonely.  

I started reading articles and researching about building community, etc as a single parent and at least feel better that feeling lonely is VERY common.  I don’t dwell on it that much, of course, because I have a lot to be grateful for……I just would like to have a new friend I connect with that has kids the same age as mine too. Don’t think that’s too much to ask!

I heard over and over from friends, ‘once they get into school, you will start meeting new people’. Yes, that is true. However, our preschool experience was interesting that way because a) I didn’t do drop/off and pick up where most conversations would start and b) when I did go to events, the parents really stuck to themselves…I didn’t see much bonding or interaction at all w/ the parents. I think I talked about this before but I found it so weird. I even tried a few times w/ some parents to strike up conversation and I could only get a few sentences. We also did go to a couple birthday parties we were invited to and I spent most of my time shepherding my children around. Birthday parties w/ a 4 and 2 year old are not relaxing or conducive to adult conversation.

I realize a lot of people have husbands, family around, friends from their lifetime and frankly, just don’t want/need to make new friends.  That’s not me so I’m going to have to be more proactive in finding ways to meet them.  I’ve thought about a moms group, but for some reason I just don’t want to do that. I remember years ago I went to a SMC event and while it was nice to go, I didn’t connect w/ anyone, was chasing around my crawler, and found that most of them had known each other for a long time and really stuck w/ themselves.

 

Maybe when she starts kindergarten it will be different…..maybe when she starts soccer this summer, etc..it will be different…..and just like in dating, you never know when you are going to meet the right one!