Wonderful Moment

Our nighttime routine w my girl has ebbed and flowed.  She started out being able to be put down in her crib, walk away, then sleep. After we moved when she was around 18 months it went downhill from there, then we got a little better and she would go to sleep again w/out much fuss, then the bottle was taken out, etc etc.  basically it hasn't stayed consistent.

We are now back into wanting mommy to lay on the floor, wets talk about it, cry and fuss mode.  She is getting really good at negotiating.  Mostly because she learned that it worked. The last few nights when I go to leave she says, "Mommy instead of leaving, I want you to stay here wiff me". She says she wants to "read a story for me". "Stay here and rest wiff me", she says. She wants to just kiss and hug me again.
If it's not that, she wants me to cover her again, she wants a sippy cup w/ water, wants her diaper changed, she wants "itty bitty milk" in a bottle, something in her room is scaring her....you have to hand it to her, she's creative.

Tonight I decided I should be firm and tell her what was going to happen....she would lay down, we would talk, then I would leave to rest, and she would go to sleep. She pulled out all of her tricks, wanted to read me story, me to lay on the floor next to her, but I was resolute I would not go back in there once I left.

She whined and hollared "Mommay...Mommaaaay".....and not too quietly. After a short while I lost my resolve. I am sure it would have worked if I had stayed out, but I didn't.  I went in to try and quiet her down and then left again. Well, that made it worse. Of course.  So after a few more minutes I just said I'm back in.....I went in, brushed her hair back w/ my hands, told her I would lay with her for awhile. I got my blanket pillow, fluffed it up for a long while of rest.

Once I laid down I reached my hand up between the crib slats and she wrapped her hand around my fingers. It just fit.  Then.....she put her other hand on top of mine and just patted it tenderly and then rested it there......The smile on my face was so wide and my heart just swelled. Swelled.

I moved my hand slightly and she again, just patted my hand and gently brushed hers back and forth over mine.

It brought me to tears. The power of that touch just hit a deep spot in me......it was so....connecting.
Made me remember holding my own mother's hand.

What a great way to end what could have been a battle of wills evening.
She was asleep in 5 minutes.

Smile.

Sigh.