Mommyhood

I am so happy to say the title applies to me.  Sometimes I look at her and think it's still hard to believe that I was already 9 months pregnant, gave birth, and she has been home and she is 5 1/2 weeks old.  It's like yesterday I walked into the living room where she was sleeping and just caught myself realizing I have a baby. It sounds strange to say, because of course I have a baby....but I think maybe it's all still sinking in.

There are also a lot of other things I am realizing....like it's so great to connect w/ other moms about what my baby is doing.  I had a photographer here (my friends gave me this awesome gift as a shower gift), and she recently had a baby too...hers is 5 months old.  We were talking about the reflux (which my baby still has and we still haven't gotten it better just yet) and her baby had it too. She told me all the things she tried, then the medicine routine (same as what I just went through), and told me about the rock and play sleeper that has been so helpful --I went out and bought one today.  For some reason it just felt soooo good to talk w/ her. I just felt such a connection and a relief to talk to someone who "knows".

The realization is that I need to get joined up w/ other moms.....the baby and I are sort of in our little cocoon--don't get me wrong we go out to stores, friends' houses, restaurants, and many people have come over to visit...but it would also be nice to meet up w/ other moms--in whatever way.  It just makes me feel soooo much better about what is happening, her growth, things I can expect, tips/tricks, etc...

Also, the love for this baby keeps growing and growing.  I looked at her the other day and she does this half smile and makes this noise like he-hehe. A bit like a giggle. Even though it is involuntary it is the cutest thing ever.My heart just swelled.

She is still pretty little....but she weighed 7lbs 5oz at last Dr. visit.  That's up a pound and a half.  That's great! But, she is putting on weight in spite of the reflux problem.

It's hard to get much done during the day. I spend a lot of time thinking about things I think I need to do, but crossing maybe one thing off every few days.  And the thing is, most of the "stuff" I think I need to get done is silly stuff like catalog some receipts, enter my cat reward points, call X, Y, Z, order furniture, etc......stuff that really isn't all that important, but for some reason I have this anxiousness about it like it really is...
It's hard for me to disconnect my mind from the tasks I've given myself and just be in the moment.   I have to consciously do it...which I have been successful many times....but it is not natural and takes effort.

I am hopeful others relate to this......I don't know why we do it.....

Other than my mind straying and thinking I need to get a bunch of stuff done....I have spent  alot of time holding my baby and just looking at her.  I love doing that.