We were due to go out to Milwaukee on Wed the day before Thanksgiving and come back on Saturday early morning. Of course I was nervous about how the logistics would go but I am so proud of myself for all of the planning I did. Heck, I even booked the flight back in July. I honestly don't remember a time where I've planned this much....i.e. I started laying out our suitcase stuff 2 days before!! I have always been one of those pack the morning of my flight and run down the gate while the door is almost closed.
I spent a lot of time looking into all options about 1) car seats (check through or rent on other end)......ended up checking 2) A really nice rental car or u.ber from airport......got a super nice rental 3) how to get to airport on this end (drive or u.ber).....we drove 4) How many suitcases/backpacks to take, what to pack......checked in 2 suitcases and 2 carseats, took with us a stroller, diaperbag, and 2 backpacks. 5) If we did drive to airport, where to park that would make it the easiest.....ended up parking AT airport in VALET, didn't even know they had this.
My girl has been SO excited about this trip that I was determined to go, even with all of the planning, and if I'm honest all the anxiety about it. She had been talking for weeks about meeting her cousins and continuously asking me their names and ages....my 4 cousins have 12 kids between them.
The morning of the flight it worked pretty well with our schedule in that my son was able to take his nap and we left shortly after 1pm. No problem getting to airport and the valet was fantastic. We just drove up, they helped us onload onto a cart, and the valet guy even offered to walk with us upstairs to the ticket counter. There were no lines at the counter and no lines at security--woop woop!! Once we made it through we got to our gate and had time to sit down and open up our travel/activity backpack that our old nanny Amy put together. It was great!!! stickers, things to push buttons on, but the best was a magnetic drawing board each of them had where the pen was strung to the board and they could erase with just a swipe of the lever. No batteries required. We got those out often during the flight.
The flight itself was great....and we got so lucky. I only purchased 2 seats--well, did frequent flyer miles, and the guy who was next to our 2 seats offered to move up so we had 3 seats all in a row. That was so nice because on the way home we had just the 2 and it really was scrunched. It was good for my son because after I buckled him in, he didn't try to fight and just assumed he needed to sit there.
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| Reading before take-off |
Neither of them had issues w/ their ears on the way out, but for some reason on the way back my son had a screaming fit when we descended. He wouldn't eat or drink for a little while there so not much I could do.
We got in around 6:30, picked up our luggage, and loaded up a cart where I was pushing that with one hand and pulling my son in the stroller with the other....and asked my girl to just hang on! That was probably the hardest because I was pretty sweaty (I had even put socks where my thighs sweat the most because I just knew I'd sweat) and we still had a 45 minute drive ahead of us. I got a little testy w/ the kids when I was trying to install the carseats and load us all up with our gear. But, once on the road it was just fine. No snow and the kids were still hanging in there. Decided to drive through mcd before getting to my uncles house since noone really ate dinner and we ended up getting there around 830pm.
I wasn't sure how the kids would react to being in a strange place but as soon as we pulled in to the driveway my girl got out and walked over the door where my uncle and aunt were.....and walked right in to them! Started chatting away as if she'd been there before and it was no big deal. Awesome. They were super excited and wound up so I didn't get them settled until around 10. They slept in one room and I slept in another next to them.
Thursday am we went over to my cousin that has the 5 kids. My girl started playing with kids in 5 seconds. Again, like she'd been there her whole life. There is 1 girl cousin out of the 5 and she is 6 years old.....so they bonded and were best friends the rest of the trip. I couldn't have been more proud of how mygirl behaved....she was so charming, confident, protective of her brother, just so great.
Now my son on the other hand did fine, but his cousin not so much........the 5 kids also has a 2 year old. The 2 year old boy wasn't used to sharing anything since his brothers are much older, so he wasn't too happy. He kept taking my son's toys, pushing him, whining, fussing about what he was playing with. My cousin didn't really know how to handle other than tell him no no, etc.. He even said to her, "You dumb mommy"....I gasped at that one. I am thankful we don't have the influence of older kids in our house yet.....those words not okay.
It was getting close to lunch and my son's naptime so I was going to take them back to my uncles (they live like 2 miles apart)....and my girl didn't want to go! She said she wanted to stay and play. My insides got anxious about it, but my cousin said she'd be fine, if she got scared they would bring her back over. Would you know that my girl was SO fine that she stayed with them until it was time to drive to my other cousin's for our meal, AND she RODE with them over to it. She was just so happy playing with her cousins....she kept saying how her girl cousin was her best friend, she loved her, she loved my cousin, etc...extrovert at heart. I do have a confession.....if I'm being honest a very small part of me was like, mommy...chopped liver. Didn't my baby need me at all???? But, the biggest part of me was just SO thankful she adjusted so well and was having a blast.
My brother arrived when my son was napping and it really was good to see him. He doesn't look any different (he's a big guy 6'7", 300+ lbs) and as soon as I saw him I said, "My brother's here!". What was nice was that since my girl was at her cousins, my brother and I got to sit w/ my aunt and uncle and just catch up on the last several years of stuff......my dad, up north property, my sister, what my brother is doing--he is now a butcher, all that stuff. It was kind of weird that my girl was somewhere and I wasn't paying for a babysitter! That just doesn't happen here, so it made me realize the benefits of family or friends that you can have playdates with would be really nice.
My brother also met my son for the first time after his nap and it went just fine. My brother may be big, but he is so gentle and just has a way where kids love him. My son wasn't afraid at all. Just went about playing like no big deal.
We ate dinner at my other cousin's house, which was fine.....if I'm honest again, the food wasn't that great. Several gluten free dishes that just weren't good...my kids barely ate either. I kept pacing around trying to get them to eat and I was super anxious about it. It was hard for me to let go of the 'they should eat'....and since they weren't, I just kept worrying. My uncle, etc. said hey go sit, relax, eat.....well......I don't do that while my kids are eating, especially if they aren't! Ultimately the pies were brought out and both of them had some of that. It's funny I don't realize how much I rely as much on our schedule as they do until we aren't in it. I kept feeling anxious about 'we normally are doing X' at this time. I consciously tried to just relax and have a don't worry attitude, but it was hard.
There were even more of the cousins at the dinner so it was loud and chaotic w/ that many kids. It was a lot for me, but I tell you my girl just kept up with them. Playing w/ all her new cousins. She just didn't stop the whole time we were there. I remember doing that when I was a kid with my cousin who has the five kids....in my grandpa's basement they had a bar where we would make drinks with soda/play bartender, and try to get the nickel that was glued into the bar off. My step-grandma would make popcorn balls and we would play bingo. My mom's real mom died of breast cancer when my mom was in her 20's I think. So sad because from what my mom always told me her mom was awesome. If anything like my mom, I'm sure she was. We always used to visit my grandma's grave when my mom was alive and we went for thanksgiving. I never knew that grandma, of course.....and it was touching, but sad because my mom would take a wreath and usually would be shivering cold.....and she'd cry, I'd cry watching her cry. Lots of memories and now we are creating the next generation of them.
I digress.....
After dinner and the kids were going wild--my son doing his best to avoid his cousin that wasn't so nice-- all of a sudden the power went out. Never did come back on so we went back to my uncles and got the kids ready for bed. Actually by then we all were wiped out, so it was a good thing we had a reason to head back and get to bath and bed.
The one thing that the kids had SO MUCH FUN doing???? Stairs. Up down. Up down. Up down. over and over and over.....at all the houses. See, we don't have stairs at all, no basement and attic is a pull down set so this was so amazing to both of the kids. They just loved it.
We spent Friday going to another cousin with the two boys in the morning, then went back to the 5 kids cousin's house in the afternoon. This is where it got worse with the 2 year old and my son. I knew from the day before I had to watch him carefully.....and my son was weary of him as well. Well, of course when someone was talking to me I took my eye off of my son.....pretty soon I hear screaming from upstairs. I ran up and found my son face down with his cousin laying on top of him--assume he tackled him. I haven't been in this situation before.....I wanted to take that kid and throw him off of my boy....but I calmly said, NO NO, we don't do that and called his mother. My son was scared to heck of him after that. Anytime he saw him he would run to me and hide. It was such a bummer. My cousin and her husband were at their wits end because he wouldn't leave my son alone. They tried taking their boy in to the other room, giving him timeout, etc and nothing worked. Later my cousin said they were so embarrassed. I can understand.
My son was so upset about it that when we went home on the plane a mom and a toddler boy went ahead of us. Once my son spotted that boy he stopped in his tracks, started crying, and would NOT go past that kid. Awwww, my poor baby.
This story is feeling long, so I'll wrap up by saying that Saturday morning came early, I was up at 4:45am, had already packed car night before and got the kids into it around 515. My uncle was up to wish us well on our trip back and my girl was very emotional leaving. She said a few times we should move there. As we were getting ready to go she was crying her eyes out, ran back over, and hugged my uncle (who she called grandpa and my aunt she called granny). It was so sweet.
And, we were at airport at 6. I was so glad there were two rental car attendants because they had NO CARTS. I started to panic because I couldn't figure out how we would do this.....then one of them offered to drive us around and drop us off at ticketing. He even got out and helped take all of our stuff to the counter. So darn nice.
Flight home was bit harder because we did only have the two seats.....the kids were a bit more cranky because of all the action, it was so early in the morning, etc. But we didn't have to wait in security and got on the plane with no problems at all--again!!Other than my son's ears, they made it just fine and once we got our car, loaded back up, we were home by 11:30am. That was a good decision to come back Saturday because we had the rest of that day and all day Sunday to recover.
In summary, the logistics couldn't have worked out better, my kids couldn't have behaved better, I was so happy seeing how excited my girl was playing with her cousins, it was so sweet that she thinks of my aunt/uncle as granny and grandpa. I have to admit it was kind of weird for me since that's not what I've called them my whole life and part of me was like, do I like it? but I think it's good for her to have people she can think of when grandma/grandpa come up. I do tell her about her other grandpa my Dad, but she hasn't seen him since she was a baby. I liked reconnecting with my aunt and uncle....I did cry once when we were talking about my mom. Funny how four year olds just say what they think......my mom came up and my girl pipes up, "yeah, she died. She had a disease". My uncle didn't really know what to say so I rescued and said yes, that's exactly right. Something that was kind of weird is no one really offered to help with much, like hey, let me help you unload the car, or even asking hey do you need anything, can I help you.....maybe they just assume I've got it, but I'll tell you it was exhausting chasing after my son non-stop for 2 1/2 days. Good seeing my brother. My sister decided not to go because she wasn't feeling well. Too bad, but it was a short trip so it was fine. Logistics and planning all worked out well.
Overall I am SO proud of myself and happy with how it all turned out.
One for the books!! Maybe we'll make it a tradition of going. I did realize how much I miss the landscape of wisconsin and my cousin lives in an area that I could absolutely see us living in....in fact, it is what I would want....rural-ish neighborhood, lots and lots of kids, nice houses, great schools,etc. But, I wouldn't move there for my extended family i.e. they are busy w/ their own lives.
Now for xmas we are staying here and my sister just booked her flight today to come from the 22nd-27th. Then I assume our old nanny amy will come visit closer to the new year. We will probably go to a candlelight service on xmas eve......but I am still needing to get a tree up in the house and decorate outside. Our current nanny put up our lighted snowman and a few yard things, but I wanted to do up the house w/ a ton of lights. I even called a few services but not one called me back. Will see what we can get done this weekend.
I was thinking back to last year and just how exhausted I was...a 3/1 year old, we had just moved into the house in august, sleep was hit and miss, my girl's tantrums were so hard to handle., my son was teething on and off for months. I think back and realize why it was so much....it wasn't just physically exhausting, it was mentally exhausting. At the time my nanny kept asking why we don't have a tree, etc.. and I just couldn't muster the energy. I think we ended up putting a tree up mid-december.
I'm feeling much more energetic this year and am really looking forward to the holidays. I already have presents starting to come for the kids and my sister. Go me!
One last story.....I am still working on finishing the remodel, etc. to the rental house. When we were there checking on things the other day an old neighbor driving by stopped to chat. She remembered us and when my girl was only a baby. Didn't realize I had moved and had another one, and now that baby is already 4 and my son is 2. Well, she starts talking and my girl walks over and they lady says, 'where did she get that curly hair'....for some reason my mind spun a little bit because my girl was right there and I said, "her Dad" (which I never say)...then I was starting to say her "donor father" when my girl shouts out, "I don't have a Dad!". I stopped for just a pause then said, you are right baby, we have a mommy, a brother, and a fatcat too. Then we just went on w/ the conversation.
I don't know what made me say 'her Dad' because it's not something I say, and not sure why I stumbled about it....and I don't usually say 'donor father' to someone we don't know well...I usually just say, ' her father'. It's really the first time mygirl has vocalized to someone else in front of me that she doesn't have a dad. I do think I handled it pretty well and I know there will be more times.....especially because she always gets comments on her curly hair. They look at me, then her....and of course they ask since I am fair skinned and light brown/blonde hair. She has more olive-y complexion and brown curly hair.
My plan is to be honest, not hide anything, and continue to answer in an age-appropriate way.
And finally, I still am amazed at my kids.....my girl said the other day, 'hey mama, I made a burrow (out of table and chairs....she moved the bench to make a hole at the top) and it keeps me safe from predators". And my son, on command he will now say MAMA. Hearing his little voice say mama just melts my heart. I ask him to say it everynight while we are reading. Sigh.
My girl is changing preschool classes in Jan. The director emailed back and said she could offer the 4 day a week class. That may be ok because my girl said out of the blue last week that she wants to try afternoons again. What? Cool.....so that's what we will do.
Always something!
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