Family

It's official. On May 21st my son became a toddler. He had his FIRST haircut. On the day of I didn't really seem too sad but in the days after I have to say--I mourned the baby curls. I really just miss 'em. And what they say is true he looks so 'boy' now and not my cuddly wuddly squishy bear.

Can't believe how long his hair had gotten.

Before

During

After

What that haircut stirred up, well just continued for me.....is this the last time I'll have a first haircut? My baby's not a baby! I haven't written too much about my thoughts on family because I am a single mother to two awesome and healthy children. They are 3 and 1, a boy and girl--what more could I possibly want or hope for?

A few things come up for me--I have 3 embryos left that I pay a storage fee annually for. Growing up I just saw myself with 3 children. I'm 41.

Ive tossed the idea around of how insane it might be to consider another. I know i know. Where the idea even comes from is not wanting any life regrets, any thoughts of---shoulda woulda.

Some people say they know they are just done. I guess in the absence of having that feeling I stew on it.  It's not all consuming but I can tell you I haven't given away one baby item.

Something else that comes to mind is maybe a husband with kids already would add to our family. That sounds good to me also.

I'm not debating the idea that things would be crazy hard. It's crazy hard with 2. But, I wouldn't be hesitating at all (I don't think) if I were married and another person was helping me raise our family.

Keeping up with other blogs I know other  moms of 1 and even 2 still work through these thoughts. There's just a finality to it when you say this is my last...fill in the blank, first tooth, new baby smell, etc. ever for the rest of my life.

Most likely we are where we will be...but I've learned never to say never. And will continue to pay my annual fee.